Posts Tagged ‘UK’
Free Penis Enlargement Therapy?
Recently, posters were put up by jokesters in Birmingham, England, poking fun at 4×4 drivers including Range Rover and Jeep wheelers who sport their rides in the city. The posters accused SUV owners of having small penises and compensating for lack of size by operating inappropriately big vehicles in congested city driving conditions. Now here in the USA, no one would accuse 4×4 drivers of having small penises. SUVs are ubiquitous in the States and definitely not associated with small penile appendages.
Let’s assume in old Blighty that 4x4s are more likely to be found in the lake district, the upland ranges, on country roads or in farming areas where four wheel drive would have more utilitarian use. But a Brummie driving a big Range Rover in the city only signals ‘small penis loser.’ Hopefully, those in need of free small penis enlargement therapy called the number (which led to a recorded phone sex line where small penises were laughed at.)
photo c/o No Context Brits on X.com (formerly known as Twitter)
Red Jet Small Taxes
Formula One superstar driver Lewis Hamilton, rumored to be well-hung, is now endowed with a red jet. Only a black stud could zip around in a red jet without a single trace of “Red Jet Small Penis” humiliation. To Hamilton, it’s transpo and flash without taxes since his advisers found a creative way for him to avoid adding to the Queen’s coffers. Find out more about Hamilton’s UK VAT tax strategy on Business Insider. And find more pics of Lewis with his spendy private jet on his Instagram @lewishamilton
photo c/o Lewis Hamilton Instagram
In case you missed it, a Red Car Small Penis owner who found a nifty tax dodge
Red Car No Attraction
Let’s look at a recent UK survey of men’s and women’s impressions of the opposite sex implied by their cars. Survey test subjects were shown two sets of photos. A split group of women were shown specific photos. One group was shown the photo of a man seated in a silver Bentley Continental GT and the other group was shown a photo of the same man seated in a red Ford Fiesta. A split group of men were shown the same woman seated in both of the cars. Women were asked to rate the level of attractiveness of the man. The man seated in the silver Bentley Continental scored much higher than the same man when seated in the red Ford Fiesta. For the men, there was no car bias difference in the woman’s level of attractiveness.
If Red Car Small Penis were to interpret the findings on the women’s tests: 1. A spendier ride will make any man appear to be more attractive 2. Women will place a higher degree of attractiveness on a man perceived to have money 3. A man seated in a red car, especially a cheap red car, is downgraded for desperately trying to be flashy. Plus, subliminally, you know these women inferred the men seated in the Fiesta had a small penis. If only the women had been asked about what size penises they thought these men had, small, average or large! Their answers would have reflected true small penis humiliation!
Rod’s Little Rod and Red Hot Rod
There is no shortage of famous celebs riding around in fiery red sports cars revealing more about themselves than they realize. This blog has been documenting the relationship between driving a red car and having a small penis for years. Famous crooner Rod Stewart is no exception to the small penis humiliation rule. Rod recently confessed that his “little rod” was made even smaller by taking steroids to combat inflammation of his vocal cords during early concert touring days.
Most men who fantasize about becoming famous rock stars want to get filthy rich as well as bed a bevy of beautiful women. While Rod was getting rich, his rod was being shriveled due to steroid use. Instead of hiding in shame, he publicly advertised to the world he had a small penis by motoring around in his Red Ferrari Enzo, years before he revealed his small penis humiliation! Rod’s little rod and red hot rod belong together! Everyone knows that cruising in a red car is signaling to the world you have a small penis! Talk about total small penis humiliation. Rod claimed that steroids reduce the swelling in any membrane, not just the vocal cords, but also the “membrane” in a guy’s pants. Cue PSA for the biggest reason not to take steroids.
This peen shrinkage news becomes more timely with all the steroid talk in the baseball world making it easy to identify which players are sporting small packages due to ‘roid abuse. Players on MLB’s steroids list are not only going to be publicly humiliated by being suspended, but also sports fans will know each of those players shrunk their peens in order to play ball and get filthy rich. Poor ARod and Ryan Braun are now clearly among the league’s smallest endowed players. Oddly enough, neither drive red sports cars. Yet.
Rod’s Red Hot Rod at a British car show
Birds Poop on Red Cars
Apparently, it’s not humiliating enough to be a man with a small penis driving a red car. According to a new study from the UK, birds poop on red cars more than any other color car. The birds poop on Red cars study wasn’t able to conclusively pinpoint why birds seem to target Red cars more frequently than cars of other colors. The study suggested a few theories, but failed to touch on the one that is quite obvious to me. These instinctive creatures apparently know exactly what women have known for years – that men who drive Red cars have a small penis and need to suffer the humiliation associated with having such an inadequate appendage!!! Bird droppings = small penis humiliation. Park your Red car at the beach and the seagulls will assault your car and make girls laugh even more about your tiny dick or throw you the small dick humiliation pinkie salute when they see you getting into your Red car with the customized polka dotted paint job.
So… not only do short dicked men receive small penis humiliation from girls for driving their Red cars around, but also these men have to contend with the humiliation of birds pooping on their rides more than any other color car!!!
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