Apparently, it’s not humiliating enough to be a man with a small penis driving a red car. According to a new study from the UK, birds poop on red cars more than any other color car. The birds poop on red cars study wasn’t able to conclusively pinpoint why birds seem to target red cars more frequently than cars of other colors. The study suggested a few theories, but failed to touch on the one that is quite obvious to me. These instinctive creatures apparently know exactly what women have known for years – that men who drive red cars have a small penis and need to suffer the humiliation associated with having such an inadequate appendage!!! Bird droppings = small penis humiliation. Park your red car at the beach and the seagulls will assault your car and make girls laugh even more about your tiny dick or throw you the small dick humiliation pinkie salute when they see you getting into your red car with the customized polka dotted paint job.

So… not only do short dicked men receive small penis humiliation from girls for driving their red cars around, but also these men have to contend with the humiliation of birds pooping on their rides more than any other color car!!!