Free Penis Enlargement Therapy?
Recently, posters were put up by jokesters in Birmingham, England, poking fun at 4×4 drivers including Range Rover and Jeep wheelers who specifically sport their rides in the city. The posters were literally accusing SUV owners of having small penises and compensating for lack of size by operating inappropriately big vehicles given congested city driving. Now here in the USA, no one would accuse 4×4 drivers of having small penises. SUVs are ubiquitous in the States and definitely not associated with small penile appendages.
Let’s assume in old Blighty that 4x4s are more likely to be found in the lake district and the upland ranges, on country roads or in farming areas where four wheel drive would have more utilitarian use. But a Brummie driving a big Range Rover in the city only signals ‘small penis loser.’ Hopefully, those in need of free small penis enlargement therapy called the number (which led to a recorded phone sex line where small penises were laughed at.)
photo c/o No Context Brits on X.com (formerly known as Twitter)
Auto Eroticism!
If you ever ask a girl whether she has played with her pussy in a car, chances are, the answer is yes. In a recent female masturbation survey online, aside from paddling the pink canoe at home, slamming the slit in the car garnered the highest response. Call it Auto Eroticism!
Now that you’re getting all worked up about seeing a foxy girl jill off in a car, you can watch blonde babe Stacy making a hot masturbating in my car video while her boyfriend drives. It’s too dangerous to let a horny girl sit behind the wheel of a car and try to concentrate on driving while stuffing her pink taco at the same time. Imagine explaining the embarrassing cause of a car accident to a highway patrol officer!
Stacy gets totally wild in the passenger seat, completely nude, fingerbanging her juicy twat. She’s an unapologetic exhibitionist who gets off on knowing that men are watching her orgasm. Some girls are just naturally slutty show-offs. Sexy Stacy is an incessant cocktease who loves to seduce you with her hot “bod” while she pleasures herself. She also has the gift of giving good Ahegao face which not every girl out there in the porn-verse can do without seeming overly posed and fake.
On SeeMeWank.com – it’s all about lusty amateur lasses masturbating in front of a camera so you can watch them cream their kitties. Real girls, real wet pussies, real orgasms. Check out SeeMeWank.com as well as Stacy’s auto erotic video.
Look Rich with a Salvage Title Sportscar in your Driveway
If you want to look rich, but don’t have the finances, here is how to buy a cheap sportscar and install it as a driveway ornament. Buy a bougie ride with a “salvage title”. Typically, this means an insurance company considered the car a total loss due to damage that exceeded its value. If you don’t want an expensive wreck in your driveway, your best bet is to find a sportscar that was totaled due to flood damage. Since floods are always happening now due to climate change, a salvaged jalopy shouldn’t be so difficult to find. Have a tow company slide your new clunker off its flatbed at night so your neighbors can’t see how it arrived. Oh wait, that’s how Carvana delivers, so you can get a daylight delivery, no problem!
Be sure to be seen washing and waxing your new coupe. Fake it till you make it! Of course, everyone will think you have a small penis if you choose a red Ferrari as your sporty whip. Hopefully, no one discovers your subterfuge! Besides, you can post all the pics you want of your new red sportscar on Instagram. Instagram is where it matters these days!
Wet Roads, Wrecked Ferrari
One of the major aspects of driving a high performance sports car is knowing how to drive it on wet roadways. Or to how not to drive it on wet roadways. Wealth and weather are two of the reasons why Ferraris and Lamborghinis are popular in southern California and Las Vegas. Yes, rain is rare in those locales. Perhaps it should be imperative that new Ferrari or Lambo drivers take a few driving lessons before launching themselves out onto the highway and into infamy as this red car small penis Ferrari driver did. In his very first driving foray, the Italian driver of this Ferrari F458 wrecks his $200K ride on wet roads while trying to pass a slower vehicle. Humiliating!
Cars, Dating and Mating
Recently, the results of a study which focused on finding the ideal mate was published in the journal of Evolutionary Psychological Science and summarized in an article on the Independent.co.uk website. The study group included 375 university-aged females. One of the questions in the study was about women’s perceptions of men who drive flashy cars. When the answers to this particular question were reviewed, the researchers saw a clear pattern. Women felt that drivers of flashy cars indicated low reliability as partners and tendency toward promiscuity.
It has already been concluded in prior research studies that the type of cars men drive is perceived as an extension of their personality, their character traits and yes, even their penis. This means on the dating site Horny Slags – randy women might be looking for men who drive fast and flashy sports cars instead of traditional sedans or SUVs.
It would be interesting if the top UK dating sites took this factor into account and included a feature in men’s profiles: What type and color of car do you drive? That way, horny women could search for the flashiest vehicles as the best possible hookups or one night stands. Red Ferraris equal more NSA rendezvous!
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