Lambo Inferno
Lamborghini Huracan a Fuoco. No, the Lamborghini wasn’t fucked, it was on fire. It’s a classic comedy film gag where a car drives away from a gas station dragging a gas hose unbeknownst to the driver. But this happened in reality. And it was caught on video. A man was taping the shocking presence of two Lamborghinis at a gas station at the same time, not shocking in Milan or Malibu, but exceptionally shocking in rural Missouri. Then one of the Lambos burst into flames. No fault of its own, the Lamborghini Huracan had been sprayed with fuel from the gas pump feed as a minivan drove away dragging the gas hose behind. Luckily, both Lambo owners were in the mini-mart.
But how did the red Lamborghini Performante escape a fiery fate? It was just pure luck the $400K blue coupe ignited while the red two-seater escaped a burning demise. The owner of the red rizzi owns a luxury car dealership and transportation firm. Because expensive luxury cars don’t get trucked around via typical car carriers! And the true humiliation here? The humiliated minivan driver driving away with the gas hose dragging behind, causing an inferno which burned a $400K Italian sportscar.
Red Ferrari Mid Life Crisis
In the South of France, there is a popular annual festival of Ferraris where dozens of Ferrari owners show off their powerful and pricey whips. La Grande Motte Festival of Ferraris benefits the Lions Club International which supports various charity efforts. However, dominant women like me can’t let the charitable underpinnings of this event deter us from calling this festival the “Red Ferrari Mid Life Crisis” Fest.
Most Ferrari owners look like they bought their red sports cars during desperate mid-life crisis moments. As one of my girlfriends eloquently stated: “Forty year old guys with money buy red sportscars, because they think it will help them get laid.” Ironically, the opposite is true. Buying a red Italian sportster will help mid-life crisis sufferers label themselves as (surprise!) mid-life crisis sports car buyers. Ripe for small penis humiliation and exploitation, European women view these men as under-hung fools, despite the size of their wallets. And only Euro golddiggers with an eagle eye for a man with money, will overlook Red Ferrari owner penis size in favor of wallet size.
Red Car Love Story
Erotic hypnosis has found its way into mainstream advertising. It is well known that advertising utilizes covert elements of brainwashing. However, this Alfa Romeo Love Story ad features an erotic hypnosis voice track synched to a red Alfa Romeo 4C coupe cruising along a picturesque coast. This ad could have been filmed along Pacific Coast Highway or somewhere along the coast of Italy. The sexy hypno track is the perfect audio accompaniment to the sensual lines of the Alfa Romeo coupe. Red sexual signaling abounds.
Obviously, Alfa Romeo advertising is working because the Italian car manufacturer experienced the highest auto sales surge in 2017 in the US according to Bloomberg News.
Red Jet Small Taxes
Formula One superstar driver Lewis Hamilton, rumored to be well-hung, is now endowed with a red jet. Only a black stud could zip around in a red jet without a single trace of “Red Jet Small Penis” humiliation. To Hamilton, it’s transpo and flash without taxes since his advisers found a creative way for him to avoid adding to the Queen’s coffers. Find out more about Hamilton’s UK VAT tax strategy on Business Insider. And find more pics of Lewis with his spendy private jet on his Instagram @lewishamilton
photo c/o Lewis Hamilton Instagram
In case you missed it, a Red Car Small Penis owner who found a nifty tax dodge
Red Ferraris Popular in China
In China, the Red Ferrari is not the cliche on wheels for the small penis driver, instead, it is the sports car to own and drive as a flashy show of wealth. Yes, it’s true, the Ferrari is the vehicle of choice for the rich in China and the most popular Ferrari paint color in China is Red. Rich Chinese women drive Red Ferraris as status symbols, noted Hannah Rosin, author of “The End of Men and The Rise of Women”. Rich Chinese businessmen and aristocrats buy their adult kids Red Ferraris as symbols of their nouveau riche status, even though the Chinese culture, for the most part, does not condone blatant displays of wealth.
Red Ferrari Chinese Limited Edition
Ferrari manufactured a limited edition run of the Ferrari 458 Italia in Red for the Chinese market only (shown below) and all of the sports cars sold out despite the $954,000 price. However, Ferrari took some heat for their culturally insensitive advertising of the Italia on a section of a Ming Dynasty fortress wall in the city of Nanjing. This advert included a stunt where the depicted Ferrari burned rubber and may have left permanent tire marks defacing the monument. And while Ferrari apologized for their disrespect of the historic wall, it was also revealed that Ferrari had paid the city for the privilege of showcasing the limited edition vehicle. Perhaps, Ferrari reps didn’t mention to officials that they were going to do more than just drive the vehicle up onto the wall’s ramparts for the ad. Since the incident, the word Ferrari was even blocked as a temporary search term in China. Censorship in action!
Red Ferraris for Red Royalty
One of the reasons why wealthy Chinese like Red Ferraris is that the young, rich and privileged Chinese are known as Red Royalty. Think of the US and UK equivalent of Blue Blood. Red Royalty are also called princelings, a moniker indicating their family money and upper class status. Thus, the Red Ferrari is the symbol for Red Royalty. Right click Open in a New Tab on the Infographic below for more details on the Red Royalty “celebrities” in China (yes, there is a Red Ferrari included!) One wealthy Chinese princeling even claimed he had never driven a Ferrari in defense against the media perception of his elitist playboy reputation.
