Posts Tagged ‘Red Ferrari’
Rod’s Little Rod and Red Hot Rod
There is no shortage of famous celebs riding around in fiery red sports cars revealing more about themselves than they realize. This blog has been documenting the relationship between driving a red car and having a small penis for years. Famous crooner Rod Stewart is no exception to the small penis humiliation rule. Rod recently confessed that his “little rod” was made even smaller by taking steroids to combat inflammation of his vocal cords during early concert touring days.
Most men who fantasize about becoming famous rock stars want to get filthy rich as well as bed a bevy of beautiful women. While Rod was getting rich, his rod was being shriveled due to steroid use. Instead of hiding in shame, he publicly advertised to the world he had a small penis by motoring around in his Red Ferrari Enzo, years before he revealed his small penis humiliation! Rod’s little rod and red hot rod belong together! Everyone knows that cruising in a red car is signaling to the world you have a small penis! Talk about total small penis humiliation. Rod claimed that steroids reduce the swelling in any membrane, not just the vocal cords, but also the “membrane” in a guy’s pants. Cue PSA for the biggest reason not to take steroids.
This peen shrinkage news becomes more timely with all the steroid talk in the baseball world making it easy to identify which players are sporting small packages due to ‘roid abuse. Players on MLB’s steroids list are not only going to be publicly humiliated by being suspended, but also sports fans will know each of those players shrunk their peens in order to play ball and get filthy rich. Poor ARod and Ryan Braun are now clearly among the league’s smallest endowed players. Oddly enough, neither drive red sports cars. Yet.
Rod’s Red Hot Rod at a British car show
Ferris Bueller Car Crash Scene
In the classic 1980’s John Hughes film “Ferris Buellers Day Off”, Ferris Bueller’s best friend, Cameron, blasts his father for caring about his beloved 1961 Red Ferrari California more than his own son. Ferris, Cameron and Sloane (Ferris’ girlfriend) take a joyride in the Ferrari on the eponymous day off, tooting around Chicago. They return the Ferrari to the showroom garage in the modernist home, whereupon Cameron notes that their drive racked up 200 miles on the odometer. He knows this will make his father crazed. His father is anal retentive about the mileage on the Ferrari and it will be obvious that Cameron took the expensive collector car out for a drive. Higher mileage on the collector Ferrari California would decrease its value. Cameron and Ferris deduce a plan to run the Ferrari in reverse while lifted up with a jack to spin the odometer back. However, as everyone who has watched the film knows, the plan backfires. When Cameron is raving about his father’s obsession with his cars and how he should just stand up to his father and take responsibility for once, he accidentally knocks into the jack and the Ferrari rear wheels fall to the garage floor. Then the Ferrari skids right through the showroom garage plate glass window, crunching tree branches before landing in a ravine below. When the bough breaks, the Ferrari will fall…
A special replica of the 1961 Red Ferrari California was used for the Ferris Bueller Car Crash Scene, since it would have been too expensive to wreck a $350K Ferrari on the relatively small movie budget. Most likely no director, regardless of budget, would wreck a Ferrari when a cheaper replicar could be built and utilized for such a scene. Today’s value for that rare Red Ferrari California is over $10 million dollars which illustrates the value of older collector Ferraris. While there isn’t a relationship of the Red Ferrari to small penis humiliation in this film, the father’s obsession with the car and ultimate destruction of the car holds symbolic value. And while it is open to the audience to imagine what the humiliating confrontation will be like when Cameron’s father finds out the Ferrari has been destroyed, Cameron seems to feel relieved that he has done something so shocking to a car that his father loves, destroying this symbol of displaced parental affection.
Multimillion Dollar Red Ferrari Garage
This multimillion dollar Red Ferrari garage is valued greater than the Chicago Lake Shore Drive high rise apartment the garage is being sold with! Shocker! The seller is asking $3.4 million for the apartment and garage or a mere $2.1 million if a big spender only wants to snag the spacious subterranean garage. The garage is a 2,700 square foot man cave featuring red floors, red Italian leather sofas and seating plus a full bar decorated in auto racing motif. This is one of the largest collections of car porn aside from famous car enthusiast, Jay Leno. And, no, the real estate price doesn’t include the twenty sport cars including Red Ferraris, Porsches or the Austin Healy. It will be interesting to see if this property sells in entirety or if only the one bedroom apartment sells. The likelihood of finding a buyer for the underground garage as a solo real estate purchase in Chicago’s urban lakeside does not seem promising.
The luxurious 67th floor penthouse apartment boasts stellar views of Lake Michigan and the Chicago skyline which along with the car collector garage make this a truly unique piece of Chicago real estate for the “right” buyer. Typically, showroom style garages are custom designed for auto aficionados on large estate properties and are not practical for urban dwellings without the space for a private garage. The owner of this unusual luxe property is a car collector and also a former race car driver who still dabbles in road rallies. The collection of twenty European sports cars, many valued at over a million dollars each, are showcased as if they are in a renowned auto museum. Even the wealthy real estate owner and car connoisseur stated in an interview for ChicagoBusiness.com that the sports cars he collects are “rolling works of art”.
Rich Kids Red Cars
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Rich Kids of Instagram Blog
The Tumblr blog Rich Kids of Instagram highlights the debauchery and excess of the spawn of the uber wealthy 1% `ers, featuring hashtags including Arm Candy (in this case, expensive designer bracelets and spendy watches) to Bottles and Models (extreme partying with ultra luxe bottles of champagne while accompanied by hot models) and of course, Toys… helicopters, private jets, yachts and sports cars. The most featured sports car color is Red, with Ferraris and Lamborghinis being the most popular makes, followed by Porsches, Bentleys and Aston Martins.
Status Symbol Cars
Since these cars are status symbol toys, the Red sports car color is all about flash and standing out, not about psychological Red Car Small Penis compensation. These pricey toys are often purchased by Dads as gifts to their Rich Kids or paid for by the rich progeny themselves from trust fund proceeds. The rich Dads of the RKOI will often boast flashy sports cars or collector cars in a showroom garage as revealed in Rich Kids of Instagram pics. And yes, within the collection is stereotypically a Red sports car or two. Even the Rich Girls have Red cars or pink(!) cars, a pepto bismol pink Bentley, a custom pink Dune Buggy… Perhaps RKOI will spin off new blogs titled: Rich Kids Red Cars or Rich Girls Pink Cars.
photos c/o RKOI
Does Penis Size Matter
Nothing tells the world you have a small penis more than driving a Red Ferrari sports car around SoCal. And if you’re Ashton Kutcher, not all the millions you have accumulated from your films, tv shows and successful tech deals can make up for having a small penis. Not even having Mila Kunis as your new girlfriend can serve as sweet solace for lacking in size. When women are asked: Does Penis Size Matter – the blazing majority would answer: Size Matters. Obviously, size doesn’t matter to Mila Kunis, since her former long-term boyfriend was McCaulay Culkin. Mila Kunis must truly fall in love and love is blind and blind to penis size. Hmmm, maybe Mila Kunis does choose her boyfriends for size, wallet size, that is. Jumping from Culkin to Kutcher represented a 10x net worth boyfriend leap to $140 million. Nice!
Ashton Kutcher first popped up on the Red Car Small Penis radar when he bought a Red International Pickup Truck, the largest pickup truck in production at the time. It’s true! Red Truck Small Penis and Big Truck Small Penis. Double tiny cock whammy for Ashton. And now with his Red Ferrari, Ashton Kutcher continues to buy small penis humiliation on four wheels.
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