Posts Tagged ‘Red Ferrari’

Does Penis Size Matter

Nothing tells the world you have a small penis more than driving a Red Ferrari sports car around SoCal. And if you’re Ashton Kutcher, not all the millions you have accumulated from your films, tv shows and successful tech deals can make up for having a small penis. Not even having Mila Kunis as your new girlfriend can serve as sweet solace for lacking in size. When women are asked: Does Penis Size Matter – the blazing majority would answer: Size Matters. Obviously, size doesn’t matter to Mila Kunis, since her former long-term boyfriend was McCaulay Culkin. Mila Kunis must truly fall in love and love is blind and blind to penis size. Hmmm, maybe Mila Kunis does choose her boyfriends for size, wallet size, that is. Jumping from Culkin to Kutcher represented a 10x net worth boyfriend leap to $140 million. Nice!

Ashton Kutcher Red Ferrari Penis Size Matter

Ashton Kutcher first popped up on the Red Car Small Penis radar when he bought a Red International Pickup Truck, the largest pickup truck in production at the time. It’s true! Red Truck Small Penis and Big Truck Small Penis. Double tiny cock whammy for Ashton. And now with his Red Ferrari, Ashton Kutcher continues to buy small penis humiliation on four wheels.

Red Ferrari Crash

Six years ago Swedish gangster Bo Stefan Eriksson claimed the million dollar Red Ferrari Enzo that crashed and split in half on Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu had been driven by a mysterious German driver he dubbed “Dietrich”. In this cinema stunt-worthy crash, the gangsta from Svenska also claimed he was just the passenger. After the Red Ferrari crash, Eriksson suffered the humiliation of being booked on multiple charges including illegal gun possession and two counts of embezzlement related to his sketchy dealings with exotic cars. Eriksson pleaded no contest to the charges and was sentenced to three years in the klink. Eriksson should have truly considered himself lucky as he could have been killed, instead, he walked away from the spectacular 120 mph high speed crash, attesting to the quality of the Ferrari’s design safety. The Red Ferrari, shown in the photo, was literally sheared in half as if cut by a cake knife.

Red Ferrari Small Penis

Flash forward now six years later. The police chose not to engage a speeding driver of a Mercedes in Beverly Hills for traffic safety reasons, but the 5-0 located him later. As it turned out, this was the mysterious “Dietrich”, only his real name is Trevor Karney. Ironically, Karney claims to have been the passenger in the original Red Ferrari smash-up. Two passengers, one Ferrari. What, no driver? Karney has no fixed address, but states he lives on a boat in Marina del Rey. Shades of Sonny Crockett and Miami Vice, chez California. But Crockett primarily drove a white 1986 Ferrari Testarossa. And now to continue with the cake knife metaphor, a cake that commemorated the crash, complete with a bottle of Absolut. Let them eat a Red Ferrari Enzo cake, but wash it down with some Swedish vodka!

Red Ferrari Cake

Red Car Big Dick

When I write Red Car Big Dick, in this case, I refer to dick in the pejorative, not the anatomical sense. Check out the Red Ferrari 458 driver in New York City who tried to dick his way out of a parking ticket by driving away from the police officer who had warned the driver, Julien Chabbott, to remain on the sidewalk while the ticket was issued. The Ferrari owner, an app developer who co-developed the app known as Line Snob, didn’t heed the police officer’s directive and even tried to drive away, running over part of the officer’s foot. Hmmm did he think he could get away sans ticket after pulling that smooth move? When he’s in line to be arraigned by a judge, will he be able to use his Line Snob app and jump the line?

Yes, his Line Snob app’s theme is where to go to shop, party or travel without long waits in lines. Wonder if he thought about the line to get fingerprinted and have his mug shot photo taken as well. The icing on the Red Car Small Penis humiliation cake is when he’s getting dragged off to some NYC police station, his blonde eye candy piece, Stephanie Pratt, from the tv show “The Hills” (Spencer Pratt’s sister, yes that Spencer Pratt of the famewhore duo Heidi and Spencer) takes off in the Red Ferrari valued at over $250K. Small penis humiliation as this was all captured on Youtube and the humiliating Youtube video has over 2,100,000 views and counting. Nothing like millions of people knowing: Red Car Big Dick.

Youtube video credit: Damian Morys
Facebook: www.facebook.com/DamianMorysPhotos

Update: Chabbott now claims that a valet was negligent in not parking his Ferrari and that the police officer erred in writing him a ticket. It would seem a simple explanation to the officer and confirmation by the hotel or valet would support the scenario instead of Chabbott trying to drive away and blow off the ticket.

Red Car Small Penis – Exceptions to the Rules

Red Car Small Penis – Exceptions to the Rules

Does owning or driving a red car necessarily signify that a man has a small penis? Well, there are exceptions to every rule. For instance, a recent blog post here on Red Car Small Penis explored that Kobe Bryant drives a Red Ferrari, but it’s been well documented that he doesn’t lack size. That being said, are there certain categories of men who the Red Car Small Penis rule doesn’t apply to?

Eric Clapton is known for his legendary guitar play, but he’s also known as a collector of expensive sports cars, particularly a custom built Red Ferrari Enzo that cost him well over $4 million. Another extremely wealthy musician who has an extensive red car collection is the drummer for Pink Floyd, Nick Mason. He is known to be fanatical about his cars and has a passion for racing these finely tuned machines. But are these guys advertising that they’re short, short men, or do they just like expensive toys?

Maybe it’s because these guys are über rich and have nothing else to do with their money. The principle that guys who buy Red sports cars automatically have small penises may not apply to super wealthy men who are buying expensive toys to play with as opposed to guys wanting to drive flashy Red small penis size compensation cars to attract females on the streets.

Or maybe there’s a geographical distinction, since these guys are both of English descent. There is a long history of buying sports cars in England, dating back to roadsters in the 20’s. The British didn’t go through the phallocentric auto trends of every decade like Americans have, examples: hot rods, muscle cars, street racers, etc. Buying a Red sports car may be emblematic of the British culture for an appreciation of the sports car, of racing, of good taste. Could Red Car Small Penis say that buying a Red sports car doesn’t automatically equal small penis humiliation for British sports car owners? Like I said to start this entry, there are exceptions to the rules, but one thing is certain, there is a high correlation to driving a Red car with having a small penis. So if you drive a Red sports car, expect to be humiliated by girls flashing the small penis humiliation pinky wave unless you can prove your size. Otherwise take it you’re advertising you’re small where it matters most!

Small Penis Humiliation

Red Car Small Penis previously blogged about high end sports cars being abandoned by their former owners in Dubai as primarily British expats were fleeing Dubai in humiliation to avoid debtor’s prison. Now… a red Ferrari Enzo abandoned by its British owner will be going up for auction. This rare million dollar Ferrari Enzo (named after the legendary Enzo who launched the Ferrari sports car), even though covered in desert sand and exposed to the elements for over a year, will presumably go for a high auction price and be refurbished to its former polished look.

Red Ferrari Humiliation

The humiliated British expat, who went from rich to pauper, must be experiencing small penis humiliation as he dumped his million dollar Enzo at the airport due to falling behind on payments and other driving fines then hopped a flight back home with his small penis tucked between his legs. Only 399 Ferrari Enzo models were manufactured and some of their high profile owners include multi-millionaires Tommy Hilfiger and Eric Clapton. This former high profile Enzo owner is surely experiencing the humiliation of taking the tube (British slang for subway) or other public transportation since he most likely lost his job in the oil biz or construction biz when those industries went bust in Dubai. But imagine if any dates find out he used to own and lost a Ferrari Enzo! He will deserve any small penis humiliation verbal abuse these women dish at him.

Small Penis Syndrome

I originally blogged about Tommy Hilfiger and his Red Ferrari several years ago when I was running my small penis humiliation blog Tumblr style. The former Red Car Small Penis phone sex blog featured small penis humiliation photos accompanied by short and sassy Red Car Small Penis descriptions. Back in 2009 my opinion was that Tommy Hilfiger and his Red Ferrari Enzo definitely reflected the red car small penis syndrome. My opinion hasn’t changed. For Tommy Hilfiger, a multimillionaire, buying a Red Ferrari Enzo would be like me buying a used Dodge Neon. And while wealth has its privileges, we are what we drive. That is one of the bottom lines of car ownership. Our car is the shell that the world sees and connects to us, it is a dramatic and powerful presentation of our selves, our battle armor that goes out on the road.

Tommy Hilfiger used to drive a vintage Jeep Wagoneer that was lovingly restored down to the wood side panels. (Pun intended, these old wooden side paneled cars are known as woodies.) This was the old Tommy Hilfiger, conservative family station wagon driver, who then upgraded to his mid-life crisis toy, the Red Ferrari Enzo. No doubt that people recognize Tommy Hilfiger and his Red Ferrari Enzo in Connecticut where he lives and cruises. But women will wonder when they know that the American driver of a Red sports car is rich, whether the Red sports car is a conspicuous symbol of wealth (with a dash of mid-life crisis) or small penis humiliation.

Kobe Bryant Red Ferrari – Small Penis Humiliation Exception

Kobe Bryant is well-endowed both in the pants and in the wallet, although perhaps not so well-endowed in the wallet post-divorce to Vanessa Bryant. Kobe isn’t quite in the age bracket of the mid-life crisis Red sports car buyer. But he is in the category of divorce consolation Red sports car buyer dropping nearly $285K on a Red Ferrari 458. Kobe’s speedy new Red toy goes from zero to sixty in 3.2 seconds. How much do you want to bet he’s tested this to be sure he got his money’s worth?

Kobe Bryant Red Ferrari

Only a few men who buy expensive Red sports cars are so cocksure of themselves and their penis size, that the Red color choice isn’t even a small penis humiliation issue. No woman seeing Kobe Bryant cruising in his Ferrari 458 is going to be thinking Kobe has a small penis or thinking they should give the small penis humiliation pinkie wave. Instead, they are going to be yelling: Kobeeee!!! hoping to get the baller’s attention. Although lately, the only woman who seems to have been getting Kobe Bryant’s attention has been his ex-wife! Yes, there are reports and photos of Kobe and Vanessa getting kissy kissy and rumors that they might be making up…


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