Posts Tagged ‘UK’
Free Penis Enlargement Therapy?
Buckle up, Birmingham, England! Pranksters just plastered your city with cheeky posters roasting 4×4 drivers, especially those wheeling flashy Range Rovers and Jeeps. The accusation? These SUV owners are overcompensating for ahem certain shortcomings with their massive rides in Birmingham’s narrow, congested city streets. Yes, the posters boldly claimed these urban off-roaders are making up for “small penises” with their oversized wheels!
Across the pond in the USA, though, SUVs are practically a way of life. No one’s batting an eye or questioning anyone’s penile proportions no matter where sport utility vehicles are driven.
Back in Blighty, 4x4s make more sense tearing through the rugged Lake District, bumping along rutted country lanes or tackling muddy farm tracks. But a Brummy in a shiny Range Rover prowling Birmingham’s brick ‘n’ concrete jungle? According to the posters, that screams “small penis loser” loud and clear. The kicker? The posters dangled a fake number for “free small penis enlargement therapy”—which hilariously connected to a recorded phone sex line that mercilessly mocked callers for their “modest” or “minus” endowments. Talk about a savage prank!
photo c/o No Context Brits on X.com (formerly known as Twitter)
Red Jet Small Taxes
Formula One superstar driver Lewis Hamilton, rumored to be well-hung, is now endowed with a red jet. Only a black stud could zip around in a red jet without a single trace of “Red Jet Small Penis” humiliation. To Hamilton, it’s transpo and flash without taxes since his advisers found a creative way for him to avoid adding to the Queen’s coffers. Find out more about Hamilton’s UK VAT tax strategy on Business Insider. And find more pics of Lewis with his spendy private jet on his Instagram @lewishamilton
photo c/o Lewis Hamilton Instagram
In case you missed it, a Red Car Small Penis owner who found a nifty tax dodge
Red Car No Attraction
Let’s look at a recent UK survey of men’s and women’s impressions of the opposite sex implied by their cars. Survey test subjects were shown two sets of photos. A split group of women were shown specific photos. One group was shown the photo of a man seated in a silver Bentley Continental GT and the other group was shown a photo of the same man seated in a red Ford Fiesta. A split group of men were shown the same woman seated in both of the cars. Women were asked to rate the level of attractiveness of the man. The man seated in the silver Bentley Continental scored much higher than the same man when seated in the red Ford Fiesta. For the men, there was no car bias difference in the woman’s level of attractiveness.
If Red Car Small Penis were to interpret the findings on the women’s tests: 1. A spendier ride will make any man appear to be more attractive 2. Women will place a higher degree of attractiveness on a man perceived to have money 3. A man seated in a red car, especially a cheap red car, is downgraded for desperately trying to be flashy. Plus, subliminally, you know these women inferred the men seated in the Fiesta had a small penis. If only the women had been asked about what size penises they thought these men had, small, average or large! Their answers would have reflected true small penis humiliation!
Rod’s Little Rod and Red Hot Rod
There is no shortage of famous celebs riding around in fiery red sports cars revealing more about themselves than they realize. This blog has been documenting the relationship between driving a red car and having a small penis for years. Famous crooner Rod Stewart is no exception to the small penis humiliation rule. Rod recently confessed that his “little rod” was made even smaller by taking steroids to combat inflammation of his vocal cords during early concert touring days.
Most men who fantasize about becoming famous rock stars want to get filthy rich as well as bed a bevy of beautiful women. While Rod was getting rich, his rod was being shriveled due to steroid use. Instead of hiding in shame, he publicly advertised to the world he had a small penis by motoring around in his Red Ferrari Enzo, years before he revealed his small penis humiliation! Rod’s little rod and red hot rod belong together! Everyone knows that cruising in a red car is signaling to the world you have a small penis! Talk about total small penis humiliation. Rod claimed that steroids reduce the swelling in any membrane, not just the vocal cords, but also the “membrane” in a guy’s pants. Cue PSA for the biggest reason not to take steroids.
This peen shrinkage news becomes more timely with all the steroid talk in the baseball world making it easy to identify which players are sporting small packages due to ‘roid abuse. Players on MLB’s steroids list are not only going to be publicly humiliated by being suspended, but also sports fans will know each of those players shrunk their peens in order to play ball and get filthy rich. Poor ARod and Ryan Braun are now clearly among the league’s smallest endowed players. Oddly enough, neither drive red sports cars. Yet.
Rod’s Red Hot Rod at a British car show
