Posts Tagged ‘Small Penis Humiliation’
Orange is the New Red Small Penis Car!
I saw the flash of orange on Biscayne. Only caught a millisecond of a glance at the driver, but in that millisecond I vouched: small penis! Since Red and Yellow combine to make Orange, it makes complete sense that Orange is in the small penis humiliation car color range. As for the car, it was a Lambo. Specifically a Lamborghini Murcielago. And a large price tag to pay for a small penis — @$290K!
So, is Orange the new Red when it comes to flashy small penis humiliation wheels? Is Orange less common than Red and therefore even flashier and more of a statement to the effect: I May Have a Small Dick, but I Have a Lot of Cash?
But I nearly forgot, there are rental car companies that feature only exotic sportscars around Miami. If you’ve got the cash or credit limit on your credit card, why rent trash? Dream Cars of Miami will rent this Orange Lambo for $1,750 per day. So it may have been rental Viagra on wheels for a small penis dickster driver and definite small penis pinkie wave humiliation to drive around for the day.
Now on the West Coast, on an equally famous drive, PCH a/k/a Pacific Coast Highway, we have an Orange Maserati (photo submitted by a Red Car? Small Penis! blog reader). I don’t know my Maserati models, so perhaps a reader can I.D. this small penis humiliation model. But here is an Orange Maserati revving it up at a Red light for all girls to see and sneer: Small Penis! Or give the small penis sign to the driver! While the driver may have millions, driving this flashy Orange Maserati means only one more thing: Orange is the New Red!
Lambo photo c/o gothamdreamcars.com/miami
Maserati photo c/o private collection
Red Truck, Small Penis Humiliation!
Would you want to spend a whopping $70,000 – $130,000 to advertise that you have a small penis? Ashton Kutcher did. I wonder if he bought the Red International Pick-up small penis humiliation truck depicted here? For those of you who want to make a “big” statement while driving down the street or highway, why not buy a mere Ford 250 and pimp your ride or convert another large sized pick-up truck into a street legal Monster Truck? Not when you can own the largest small penis humiliation pick-up on the road and a gas guzzler with the lowest mpg of any pick-up in its size class.
Fortunately or unfortunately, the International CXT Pick-up Truck was dropped from production. Economy issues, increased fuel cost issues, didn’t attract the right buyer issues… The International Pick-up Truck was marketed to athletes with excess cash, celebrities with small penises and big egos and then on the more utilitarian side of the market: boat owners, horse and livestock haulers. Apparently, 99% of the SPH market didn’t feel like they needed to buy a real truck to compensate for having a small penis. Let alone how difficult it would be for anyone with a small penis to master driving the complex truck transmission! Besides girls would just laugh with humiliation as the tiny dick loser driver would continually grind the gears! Yes, the International Pick-up did come with a truck transmission and not a regular automatic or standard tranny. And in this case, tranny is automotive parlance for transmission, not for a shemale!
Image c/o International Trucks
Red Car Small Penis Myths!
While there are small penis humiliation myths debunked below by statistical data about driving and insuring red cars, one interesting stat is that studies have shown red cars are involved in more accidents than any other color cars… Hmmmm could that mean that red car drivers are driving unsafely, faster than they should, trying to show off, in an effort to overcompensate for small penis humiliation?
As if it isn’t enough of a statement of small penis humiliation to be seen driving an ultra expensive rare Red Ferrari, consider the humiliation when this Australian university student had to make the dreaded cell phone call: “Ummm Dad, I just wrecked your $400,000 Ferrari…”
The “Red Car Bias” Myth #1: A common misconception is that red sportscar drivers tend to receive more speeding tickets than drivers of other color cars. Could it be due to their flashiness? Or that red car small penis drivers receive tickets due to envy of the patrolling officers? This is compounded by the ostensible optical illusion created by a red car’s color that makes it appear to be going faster than it really is, regardless of a radar gun. Too bad there isn’t a radar gun that also detects small penis size.
Let’s confer with the experts. According to the Insurance Information Institute: “There is no data to support the assertion that red cars receive more traffic tickets than cars of any other color.” Still, the Rrd car speeding ticket myth has been so widely accepted that it correlates to another Red Car? Small Penis! driving myth below.
The “Red Car Bias” Myth #2: How many car buyers have avoided red cars because they believed owning a red car would mean higher insurance rates than cars of other colors? (Let alone that it would mark them for small penis humiliation…) However, while some studies have suggested red cars are involved in a disproportionate number of accidents, according to the same insurance institute: “There are no major insurance companies that consider car color when determining insurance rates.” The bottom line in the auto insurance industry is that drivers with good driving records, who drive safe vehicles, park off-street at their residences, live in a low theft risk area and drive a moderate amount of miles per year typically have the lowest car insurance premiums. Drivers of red cars, whether they sport a humiliating small penis or monster cock, aren’t necessarily “penalized” for driving and insuring a red car. That is, until they rack up the speeding tickets or get into an at-fault accident. Not only will their auto insurance rates rise, but also their small penis humiliation!
Images c/o SydneyMorningHerald.com
Red Ferrari Small Penis Humiliation
Fallacy (or should I say Phallus-y): Buying an expensive Red sports car will increase the size of your small penis!
Fact: Buying an expensive Red sports car will increase girls’ knowledge of your small penis and therefore, your small penis humiliation!
One eBay UK “member” found out the “hard” way (hey, puns are just rolling off my keyboard) that a shiny fast Red Ferrari does not increase the size of a little dick and only adds to small penis humiliation, so much so, that he tried to auction it off on eBay.
Check out the 1984 Ferrari Testarossa depicted below. A classic Red Italian stallion featuring 385 horsepower, the Testarossa first debuted in 1984 and was named for the daughter of Ferrari’s founder who was a redhead. (Testarossa means redhead in Italian). Redheads are also considered good luck in Italy. In fact, Italians will touch someone’s red hair for luck. No luck was needed in the case of the Testarossa becoming an instant classic in the Ferrari line. However, the eBayer trying to part with his “red car small penis” Testarossa had no luck with his auction.
But when reviewing the eBay member’s auction history, to his small penis humiliation and embarrassment everyone could see what he last purchased: a Doc Johnson Titan Penis Enlargement Pump!
At least Doc Johnson added a caveat to the description of their Penis Enlargement Pump, unlike the Red Ferrari… The Doc Johnson Penis Enlargement Pump disclaimer detailed that some men declare the use of penis enlargement pumps as being effective tools for increasing size of their little “tools”. Others have reported that Penis Enlargement Pumps do not have any lasting effect on small penis size. It is acknowledged that penis pumpers can extend the length of their small dicks while using the pump, but have found their small penises will return to original small penis humiliation size after using the device.
The same caveat, it appears, could be applied to Ferraris…
Not only will a Red Ferrari not make a small penis bigger, it may also make it smaller! To all the girls who see any man driving it!
Image c/o eBay.co.uk
Small Penis Size Car Colors
from peewee, UK blog correspondent…
Men’s car color choices either drive women wild or drive women away. A survey commissioned by a prominent UK auto insurance group found that the right color of a car was far more important than its shape or size for women. More than 50 percent of the respondents said they would try to get a closer look at a driver and would probably flirt with him if the color of his car caught their eye. Three-quarters of women said the color of a car was the key to their attitude toward a driver. (Are we leading up to Red Car? Small Penis! Read on…) Last but not least, one out of ten respondents admitted having a date with a man because the color of his car created a favorable impression on her.
Silver was the sexiest color for British women. Perhaps the color silver reminds them of a life full of glamor. Incidentally, silver cars are 50 percent less accident prone, according to official statistics on major traffic accidents.
Black came in second in the survey. The color is usually associated with wealth, security and comfort. In a popular pubic stereotype, big black cars are for mobsters or those in highest command. Needless to say, some ladies would not mind keeping company with members of either group.
Third was Red, the color of passion, speed, daredevilry and small penis humiliation. However, there was an age gap in those who preferred this color, only 18 – 19 year olds and women beyond their prime (over 40) fell for red. Red cars were a bleak preference for women at their sexual peak (20’s, 30’s). Perhaps these women know the inherent small penis humiliation that these drivers are advertising when they drive Red cars! Whereas desperate cougars will go for any racy fellow regardless of his humiliating small penis lack of endowment.
Men who drive green, gray or white cars had better have their vehicles painted otherwise if they want to score. According to the survey, green, gray or white cars do not have any sex appeal for women, for a variety of reasons. It is believed that men with a penchant for green will always be clumsy and awkward in their approach to sex. It is also thought that the color gray is preferred by those who are indecisive.
the only man, dead or alive, who women would lust after in a green car! ~Sara
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