Posts Tagged ‘Red Ferrari’

Red Ferrari Theme Park?

Yes, it’s true. But it’s actually a Ferrari Theme Park, with a Red color scheme for the main park structure, depicted below. Slated to open this month, Ferrari World is located in Abu Dhabi, capital of the United Arab Emirates. Why Abu Dhabi? The Gulf region boasts a wealthy population with a passion for motorsports. The Abu Dhabi Grand Prix, a Formula One race, is held annually less than an hour away. Where else, but in one of the richest cosmopolitan cities in the Middle East region, would there be such conspicuous display of affluence and a plethora of expensive supercars on the road?

Ferrari Theme Park

OK, I admit, if I had been asked where I thought the new Ferrari Theme Park was located, I would not have guessed Abu Dhabi. I would have guessed Las Vegas, but not based on high per capita income or abundance of Red Italian sportscars cruising the Strip. Las Vegas would have been my guess mainly because it has desert land in proximity where such a park could have been developed and it has a continuous supply of tourists. Or I would have guessed one of the Disney locations, as there are continual “thrill ride” additions to the Disney theme park empire.

Ferrari Theme Park claims to fame: 1. First Ferrari Theme Park 2. World’s Fastest Roller Coaster at 150 mph // 240 km/h 3. Largest Ferrari Logo in the World (note: the largest Ferrari Logo in the World isn’t doing anything for me).

Theme attractions: See above plus 1. Racing simulators 2. Theme park ride water ride thru a Ferrari engine 3. Ferrari Racing School 4. Video history of Ferrari Racing and the Ferrari Factory 5. Ferrari cars including classic and concept cars on display 6. A Ferrari G-Force Simulator Tower Ride 7. An aerial tour of Italy following a Red Ferrari driving over the road and more, more, more.

But I find it ironic that while this multi-million dollar park is opening in Abu Dhabi, not too far away, in Dubai, the largest city in the United Arab Emirates, Ferraris and other sportscars are being abandoned in record numbers due to the collapse of the building boom and cut-backs in oil company staffing. I imagine when this theme park was first envisioned, financed and developed, that the Gulf economy was not in such dire straits.

Image c/o Ferrari World

Free Red Ferrari – Humiliating?

Red Ferrari

Do you have millions of dollars lying around or do you have the qualifications to finance a monster mortgage? Want to live in a popular Malibu movie star and professional athlete’s neighborhood (Puerco Canyon) plus drive a Hollywood movie star or pro athlete’s worthy ride: a Red Ferrari F40 sportscar valued at $75,000? Then this is definitely the house and small penis humiliation car for you! What a sweet catch! But the hidden, or maybe not so hidden catch is that it will mean despite your massive wealth, what’s in your pants (besides your fat wallet) isn’t so massive.

Free Humiliating

Update: According to this beautiful Malibu house’s “for sale” website, the owner has changed their marketing strategy. Perhaps offering the small penis humiliation Red Ferrari as an incentive just wasn’t working to attract buyers. Now, if you want to buy the Mediterranean style Malibu ocean view house, you no longer get the Red Car Small Penis Ferrari as a bonus! Epic disappointment! But the owner is offering the home completely furnished, statues included, and lowering the price of the house by $400,000 to $3,999,333. The new offering will have appeal, but of course I’m slanted toward the previous deal with the free Rred Ferrari.

The house and pool back up to Pacific Coast Highway right across from singer / actress Cher’s $40 million dollar renowned beachfront estate which is also presently for sale. Yes, Cher wants ten times as much for her palatial digs which makes this house seem like a bargain in lieu.

Humiliating Red Car

Images c/o MLS.com

Cheap Red Sports Car Repo’s – The Humiliation

Looking for a deal on a used Red luxury sports car? If you don’t mind traveling to Dubai or dusting off a bit of sand, you can buy a Red sportscar repo, cheap. Of course, it will cost you a trip to Dubai to buy it, shipping to your destination, taxes, tariffs, modifications to your country’s emission standards, but all that aside, bargains await! Even Dubai has not escaped the wrath of the wrecked economy. Primarily British expatriates, working in Dubai in the construction or oil biz, signed on the dotted line for hefty car loans to finance primo wheels to look like they fit in with the nouveau riche of the world’s biggest oil and building boomtown.

Now in Dubai, I’m not sure if “red car, small penis” holds true for all drivers, but I would imagine function follows form at least for the UK expats. But unlike in the US, where if your car gets repo’d, you get a smack on your credit report, Dubai arrests debtors and throws them into debtors prison! Some expats are stuck in Dubai, stripped of their passports, trying to work off their debts however they can in order to avoid jailtime. Talk about Financial Domination!

Most of us who live in big cities regularly see abandoned cars on the streets, the cars get stickered and eventually towed, but what we don’t usually see are cars like this:

Cheap Humiliation

or this:

Red Sports Car Humiliation

…covered in sand, left abandoned by their owners, who most likely fled the country. The largest concentration of abandoned vehicles is at the Dubai airport. Is it considered the penultimate small penis humiliation to abandon your Red sportscar in an airport parking lot before you flee the country?

A Gleeful Red Ferrari

One of the stars of Glee, cute Cory Monteith, bought or leased himself a true red-car-small-penis-mobile, a Ferrari California, yes, Ferrari really does have a model called California. Can we assume this Ferrari model’s name was a brilliant Ferrari Marketing Department move to sucker all the rich or nouveau riche small dick loser drivers in the eponymous state? With a starting price of $190,000, it is a tres expensive way to say: Hey bitches, I’m a winner, but check out my small penis!

Small Dick Loser

Sporting impressive Car and Driver stats such as accelerating from 0 – 60 in 4 seconds or less, it’s not the most practical vehicle to drive in California traffic, let alone that it will draw the small penis humiliation pinkie wave from hot chicks who spot the flashy Red sportscar.

Who would have predicted that Glee would became a sleeper hit, plus gather a huge rabid fan base. How many shows boast a claim to fame these days and don’t just end up canceled in red letters. Why not celebrate being a financial winner and tv ratings success with a Red Ferrari? Cory did come from humble beginnings, though I haven’t been able to find out what his former ride was, but his first job while a fledgling actor, was working as one of those annoying Walmart greeters! Oh, the humiliation!

I can say I’ve only stepped into a Walmart once. It was truly an experience I will never forget, which began with the annoying Walmart greeter delivering a monotone welcome as if he were a talking doll and someone had pulled the string in his back. Then as I began meandering thru the maze of aisles, I began feeling dizzy, I must have descended into the first level of Hell. The aisles were populated by strange demonic and ill-dressed creatures. I extricated myself very quickly, vowing never to return. I now refer to Walmart as Hellmart. Perhaps Cory has the never-to-return feeling about his first job. But in retrospect, it was just a means to an end, and ending up in a Red Ferrari California, even though a Red Ferrari is a small penis humiliation classic, officially puts the past behind him.

Image c/o INFDaily


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