Posts Tagged ‘Red Car’
Red Car Porn
The first Cadillac ATS commercial I viewed on Youtube was filmed in a unique locale in China with select footage aerially shot by a red helicopter {gratuitous wink}. The series of four commercials which Cadillac produced to promote their trendy new sedan featured two 30-something dudes craving a red car porn rush. I could only think of three words: small penis humiliation. After viewing the Youtube clip, I wondered if these guys really thought it was that impressive to drive the red Cadillac ATS sports sedan through such a “tight” tunnel. Oh, the subliminal metaphor…
Cadillac spent a lot of money on these commercials to showcase their optional “magnetic ride control suspension”. Cadillac even goes so far as to tout the Cadillac ATS as “the world’s finest luxury compact sport sedan”. However, many aficionados of European luxury sport sedans such as BMWs and Mercedes would definitely disagree. Nevertheless, Cadillac engineers deserve some props for their magnetic ride control development as this adaptive suspension was later integrated by Ferrari and Lamborghini. Typically, American car engineers are behind the curve, not ahead of it. However, the casting of the 30-something adrenaline junkie douches in a series of racy commercials, most likely a marketing ploy to reach that particular male buyer demographic, seems a little desperate, even though the locales of the commercials are beautifully breathtaking. And to be honest, if any guys go out and buy a red Cadillac sedan after watching any of these car porn commercials and attempt to drive their red Caddies like sporty BMWs to impress chicks, well, that will only be met with small penis humiliation.
Birds Poop on Red Cars
Apparently, it’s not humiliating enough to be a man with a small penis driving a red car. According to a new study from the UK, birds poop on red cars more than any other color car. The birds poop on Red cars study wasn’t able to conclusively pinpoint why birds seem to target Red cars more frequently than cars of other colors. The study suggested a few theories, but failed to touch on the one that is quite obvious to me. These instinctive creatures apparently know exactly what women have known for years – that men who drive Red cars have a small penis and need to suffer the humiliation associated with having such an inadequate appendage!!! Bird droppings = small penis humiliation. Park your Red car at the beach and the seagulls will assault your car and make girls laugh even more about your tiny dick or throw you the small dick humiliation pinkie salute when they see you getting into your Red car with the customized polka dotted paint job.
So… not only do short dicked men receive small penis humiliation from girls for driving their Red cars around, but also these men have to contend with the humiliation of birds pooping on their rides more than any other color car!!!
Do Small Red Cars Attract Small Penis Humiliation
Do Small Red Cars Attract Small Penis Humiliation…
The new Toyota Scion iQ features an averaged 37 mpg, which is nearly the highest mpg of any non-hybrid on the road. Consumers are buying it for its gas mileage and easy to park size in cities where parking spaces are at a premium. The only other car that the Scion competes with on gas mileage and price is the Smart Car. But the Scion features more practical interior space and the Toyota engineering and quality that American car buyers revere. However, the question is, when women see a man driving a red Toyota Scion, will they be thinking small penis humiliation or tiny car – low gas mileage – environmentally aware – city driver? Especially with a tiny Red car, will they be thinking tiny cock humiliation? Red is a popular color with the smaller cars. The Red Car Small Penis blog can debate if Red is just a stand-out color for smaller fuel-efficient and city cars such as the Smart Car and Fiat 500 and Mini-Cooper as the Red color is reminiscent of Red toy cars. Since the Scion isn’t exactly a Red sports car a la the Red Car Small Penis humiliation Ferrari or Lamborghini, will Red Toyota Scion drivers attract small penis humiliation?
Small Penis Humiliation Addiction
Small Penis Humiliation Addiction can take many different forms. But in this case of SPH addiction, it’s “auto-eroticism” and Red Car obsession. This subject of addiction and obsession professes his love for Chase and kisses Chase, the only thing is: Chase isn’t his boyfriend. Chase is his car. Specifically, a Red 1998 Monte Carlo. He is compelled to stare at Chase during the day on his work computer’s screensaver and he also sleeps with a little toy red car named Dylan every night. It’s one thing to drive a red car, but it’s another thing to love, as in really love a red car. Objectophilia, loving an object, is a strange fetish, obsession and addiction. And since his car is named after a dude, it seems like displaced gay affection.
Imagine the small penis humiliation this red car small penis owner now experiences since he and his car were featured on TLC’s “My Strange Addiction”. Girls have to be freaked about a guy who gets “intimate” with his car.
Lifted Cars are Small Penis Extenders on Wheels
Men who drive cars or pick-up trucks with special suspension customizations to lift their cars or pick-up trucks and install oversized tires may as well be advertising to women that they need to lift their penis size as well. Women who see these lifted cars or trucks are only thinking that the drivers are psychologically trying to enlarge their penis by installing penis extenders on their rides. Lifted cars are small penis extenders on wheels. Pathetic! Women are not impressed by lifted cars or trucks, rather, they are only thinking: small penis humiliation on wheels. Most women know that men who are driving lifted cars or trucks with special lift apparatus, should be buying penis extenders instead and working on lengthening what really needs to be lengthened or upsized, not the height of their cars or pick-ups and not the size of their tires.
Every time I see one of these lifted pick-ups or cars, even if it’s a low rider in Little Havana, I think: lifted car, small penis. The funny thing is that most of these lifted cars and trucks are Red! Which is more evidence of Red Car Small Penis humiliation on wheels. Plus a waste of money! Men should be spending the thousands they spent on customizing their cars or trucks on something that matters, not their small penis mobiles.
