Posts Tagged ‘Red Car’

Red Car Love Story

Erotic hypnosis has found its way into mainstream advertising. It is well known that advertising utilizes covert elements of brainwashing. However, this Alfa Romeo Love Story ad features an erotic hypnosis voice track synched to a red Alfa Romeo 4C coupe cruising along a picturesque coast. This ad could have been filmed along Pacific Coast Highway or somewhere along the coast of Italy. The sexy hypno track is the perfect audio accompaniment to the sensual lines of the Alfa Romeo coupe. Red sexual signaling abounds.

Obviously, Alfa Romeo advertising is working because the Italian car manufacturer experienced the highest auto sales surge in 2017 in the US according to Bloomberg News.

Red Car No Attraction

Red Ford Fiesta

Let’s look at a recent UK survey of men’s and women’s impressions of the opposite sex implied by their cars. Survey test subjects were shown two sets of photos. A split group of women were shown specific photos. One group was shown the photo of a man seated in a silver Bentley Continental GT and the other group was shown a photo of the same man seated in a red Ford Fiesta. A split group of men were shown the same woman seated in both of the cars. Women were asked to rate the level of attractiveness of the man. The man seated in the silver Bentley Continental scored much higher than the same man when seated in the red Ford Fiesta. For the men, there was no car bias difference in the woman’s level of attractiveness.

If Red Car Small Penis were to interpret the findings on the women’s tests: 1. A spendier ride will make any man appear to be more attractive 2. Women will place a higher degree of attractiveness on a man perceived to have money 3. A man seated in a red car, especially a cheap red car, is downgraded for desperately trying to be flashy. Plus, subliminally, you know these women inferred the men seated in the Fiesta had a small penis. If only the women had been asked about what size penises they thought these men had, small, average or large! Their answers would have reflected true small penis humiliation!

Red Tesla Small Penis

He shelled out $70K for a sporty red Tesla and will now be shelling out for a spendy vacation… in jail, rehab or a mental health facility. The hippie driver came to a full stop in the middle of daytime traffic on PCH in Pacific Palisades. He began stripping off his clothes outside of his car until he was completely au naturel. But that wasn’t all. For over two hours, the man performed wacky, spacey dance moves while standing on the driver’s seat, showcasing these moves through the open sun roof of his Tesla. Paramedics and beach patrol crew patiently waited for an opportunity to apprehend him. Mr. Red Tesla Small Penis closed out his hipster performance art walking atop the body of the car. Apres le cinema verite, he was straitjacketed and taken away on a stretcher.

In the meantime, bystanders broke out their cell phone cameras to record the event. The entertaining videos and photos are making the rounds in the media and popular social sites including Youtube. Going totally naked in public revealed the driver’s tiny penis. As one video viewer commented, the red Tesla driver’s pubic hair was longer than his naughty bits. Small penis humiliation right there. This red car driver will forever be known for having a mind meltdown on PCH whether it was a mental health issue or drug interlude. And, of course, he will be known for revealing visible proof of “red car small penis” and live forever in humiliating internet infamy. His only consolation will be that he is most likely well-heeled if he can afford a Tesla and that he can laugh all the way to the bank while wheeling around in his red EV. Despite his small penis.

Red Ferrari Money Ride

Did these women really fall for the braggadocio of the wannabe wealthy losers conducting a social experiment using a Red Ferrari as bait? Apparently, they did. Sad, sad, sad. These women revealed themselves to be opportunists or golddiggers who would take the owners for a ride, a financial domination ride that is. Since it was a clever prank, recorded for Youtube posterity, you can judge for yourself. These women obviously recognized the red Italian whip as a spendy set of wheels. Their impression was that the owner would have to be rich. However, they didn’t consider that the owner could be leasing it and faking rich or even worse, a prankster. Maybe the Red Ferrari owner’s penis size didn’t matter to them if their nefarious intentions were to get on the golddigger gravy train.

There are obviously women who will sleep with sugar daddies, silverbacks and rich men with small penises for the luxury lifestyle. Using the Red Ferrari as the trap was so classic. If any other color Ferrari was used, such as black or yellow, it would not have had the same allure as the Red Ferrari.

Red Hello Kitty Smart Car

Hello Kitty Red Car

Now there is no way in Hell-o Kitty this red car’s driver has a small penis! Antonio Garay, 6′ 4 and 320 pound nose tackle for the New York Jets loves his red Hello Kitty Smart Car. In fact, using the Google predictive search, as soon as you type in his name, the words smart car appear right after. Therefore, he is searched more for his infamous smart car than his years of NFL stats! He drives this two-seater convertible, because he thinks it’s cool. And why not. Everyone recognizes the signature ride wherever he goes. His whip is anything but girlie when he’s seated behind the wheel. And there can be no humiliation for driving a sensible vehicle. When so many athletes blow their futures by overspending on pricey sports car collections, expensive cribs and other showy bling, owning a relatively inexpensive and catchy looking car is a superior choice. Garay promotes his own way of doing things while displaying his personal style, including sculpted multi-color artsy hair and customized iPhone cases. Perhaps this style-meister will go into personalized product design after his NFL career is over.

Red Car Porn

The first Cadillac ATS commercial I viewed on Youtube was filmed in a unique locale in China with select footage aerially shot by a red helicopter {gratuitous wink}. The series of four commercials which Cadillac produced to promote their trendy new sedan featured two 30-something dudes craving a red car porn rush. I could only think of three words: small penis humiliation. After viewing the Youtube clip, I wondered if these guys really thought it was that impressive to drive the red Cadillac ATS sports sedan through such a “tight” tunnel. Oh, the subliminal metaphor…

Cadillac spent a lot of money on these commercials to showcase their optional “magnetic ride control suspension”. Cadillac even goes so far as to tout the Cadillac ATS as “the world’s finest luxury compact sport sedan”. However, many aficionados of European luxury sport sedans such as BMWs and Mercedes would definitely disagree. Nevertheless, Cadillac engineers deserve some props for their magnetic ride control development as this adaptive suspension was later integrated by Ferrari and Lamborghini. Typically, American car engineers are behind the curve, not ahead of it. However, the casting of the 30-something adrenaline junkie douches in a series of racy commercials, most likely a marketing ploy to reach that particular male buyer demographic, seems a little desperate, even though the locales of the commercials are beautifully breathtaking. And to be honest, if any guys go out and buy a red Cadillac sedan after watching any of these car porn commercials and attempt to drive their red Caddies like sporty BMWs to impress chicks, well, that will only be met with small penis humiliation.

Birds Poop on Red Cars

Apparently, it’s not humiliating enough to be a man with a small penis driving a red car. According to a new study from the UK, birds poop on red cars more than any other color car. The birds poop on Red cars study wasn’t able to conclusively pinpoint why birds seem to target Red cars more frequently than cars of other colors. The study suggested a few theories, but failed to touch on the one that is quite obvious to me. These instinctive creatures apparently know exactly what women have known for years – that men who drive Red cars have a small penis and need to suffer the humiliation associated with having such an inadequate appendage!!! Bird droppings = small penis humiliation. Park your Red car at the beach and the seagulls will assault your car and make girls laugh even more about your tiny dick or throw you the small dick humiliation pinkie salute when they see you getting into your Red car with the customized polka dotted paint job.

So… not only do short dicked men receive small penis humiliation from girls for driving their Red cars around, but also these men have to contend with the humiliation of birds pooping on their rides more than any other color car!!!

red-car-poop


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