Posts Tagged ‘Red Car’

Red Tesla Small Penis

The driver shelled out $70K for a sporty red Tesla and will now be shelling out for a spendy vacation… in jail, rehab or a mental health facility. The hippie driver came to a full stop in the middle of daytime traffic on PCH in Pacific Palisades. Then, he began stripping off his clothes outside of his car until he was completely au naturel. But, that wasn’t all. For over two hours, the man performed wacky, spacey dance moves while standing on the driver’s seat, showcasing these moves through the open sun roof of his Tesla. Paramedics and beach patrol crew patiently waited for their moment to apprehend him. Mr. Red Tesla Small Penis closed out his hipster performance art walking atop the body of the car. Apres le cinema verite, he was straitjacketed and taken away on a stretcher.

In the meantime, bystanders broke out their cell phone cameras to record the event. The entertaining video and amusing photos are making the rounds in the media and popular social sites including Youtube. Going totally naked in public revealed the driver’s tiny penis. As one video viewer commented, the red Tesla driver’s pubic hair was longer than his naughty bits. Small penis humiliation right there. This red car driver will forever be known for having a mind meltdown on PCH whether it was a mental health issue or drug induced. And, of course, he will be known for revealing visible proof of “red car small penis” and live forever in humiliating internet infamy. His only consolation will be that he is most likely rich as hell if he can afford a Tesla and that he can laugh all the way to the bank every day while wheeling around in his red EV. Despite his small penis.

Red Ferrari Money Ride

Did these women really fall for the braggadocio bullshit of the wannabe wealthy losers conducting a social experiment using a Red Ferrari as bait? Apparently, they did. Sad, sad, sad. These women were opportunists or golddiggers who wanted to take the owners for a ride, a financial domination ride that is. Since it was a clever prank, recorded for Youtube posterity, you can judge for yourself. These women obviously recognized the red Italian whip as a spendy set of wheels. Their impression was that the owners would have to be rich. However, they didn’t consider they could be leasing it and faking rich or even worse, pranksters. Maybe the Red Ferrari owner’s penis size didn’t matter to them if their nefarious intentions were to get on the golddigger gravy train.

There are obviously women who will sleep with sugar daddies, silverbacks and rich men with small penises for the luxury lifestyle bump. Using the Red Ferrari as the trap was so classic. If any other color Ferrari was used, such as black or yellow, it would not have had the same allure as the Red Ferrari.

Red Hello Kitty Smart Car

Hello Kitty Red Car

Now there is no way in Hell-o Kitty this red car’s driver has a small penis! Antonio Garay, 6′ 4 and 320 pound nose tackle for the New York Jets loves his red Hello Kitty Smart Car. In fact, using the Google predictive search, as soon as you type in his name, the words smart car appear right after. Therefore, he’s searched more for his infamous smart car than his years of NFL stats! He drives this two seater convertible, because he thinks it’s cool. And why not. Everyone recognizes the signature ride wherever he goes. His ride is anything but girlie when he’s seated behind the wheel. And there can be no humiliation for driving a sensible vehicle. When so many athletes blow their futures by overspending on pricey sports car collections, expensive cribs and other showy bling, owning a relatively expensive and catchy looking car, is a superior choice. Garay promotes his own way of doing things and displays his personal style, including sculpted multi-color arty hair and customized iPhone cases. Perhaps this style-meister will go into personalized product design after his NFL career is over.

Red Car No Attraction

Red Ford Fiesta

Let’s look at a recent UK survey of men’s and women’s impressions of the opposite sex implied by their cars. Survey test subjects were shown two sets of photos. A split group of women were shown specific photos. One group was shown the photo of a man seated in a silver Bentley Continental GT and the other group was shown a photo of the same man seated in a red Ford Fiesta. A split group of men were shown the same woman seated in both of the cars. Women were asked to rate the level of attractiveness of the man. The man seated in the silver Bentley Continental scored much higher than the same man when seated in the red Ford Fiesta. For the men, there was no car bias difference in the woman’s level of attractiveness.

If Red Car Small Penis were to interpret the findings on the women’s tests: 1. A spendier ride will make any man appear to be more attractive 2. Women will place a higher degree of attractiveness on a man perceived to have money 3. A man seated in a red car, especially a cheap red car, is downgraded for desperately trying to be flashy. Plus, subliminally, you know these women inferred the men seated in the Fiesta had a small penis. If only the women had been asked about what size penises they thought these men had, small, average or large! Their answers would have reflected true small penis humiliation!

Red Car Porn

The first Cadillac ATS commercial I viewed on Youtube was filmed in a unique locale in China with select footage aerially shot by a red helicopter {gratuitous wink}. The series of four commercials which Cadillac produced to promote their trendy new sedan featured two 30-something dudes craving a red car porn rush. I could only think of three words: small penis humiliation. After viewing the Youtube clip, I wondered if these guys really thought it was that impressive to drive the red Cadillac ATS sports sedan through such a “tight” tunnel. Oh, the subliminal metaphor…

Cadillac spent a lot of money on these commercials to showcase their optional “magnetic ride control suspension”. Cadillac even goes so far as to tout the Cadillac ATS as “the world’s finest luxury compact sport sedan”. However, many aficionados of European luxury sport sedans such as BMWs and Mercedes would definitely disagree. Nevertheless, Cadillac engineers deserve some props for their magnetic ride control development as this adaptive suspension was later integrated by Ferrari and Lamborghini. Typically, American car engineers are behind the curve, not ahead of it. However, the casting of the 30-something adrenaline junkie douches in a series of racy commercials, most likely a marketing ploy to reach that particular male buyer demographic, seems a little desperate, even though the locales of the commercials are beautifully breathtaking. And to be honest, if any guys go out and buy a red Cadillac sedan after watching any of these car porn commercials and attempt to drive their red Caddies like sporty BMWs to impress chicks, well, that will only be met with small penis humiliation.

Birds Poop on Red Cars

Apparently, it’s not humiliating enough to be a man with a small penis driving a red car. According to a new study from the UK, birds poop on red cars more than any other color car. The birds poop on Red cars study wasn’t able to conclusively pinpoint why birds seem to target Red cars more frequently than cars of other colors. The study suggested a few theories, but failed to touch on the one that is quite obvious to me. These instinctive creatures apparently know exactly what women have known for years – that men who drive Red cars have a small penis and need to suffer the humiliation associated with having such an inadequate appendage!!! Bird droppings = small penis humiliation. Park your Red car at the beach and the seagulls will assault your car and make girls laugh even more about your tiny dick or throw you the small dick humiliation pinkie salute when they see you getting into your Red car with the customized polka dotted paint job.

So… not only do short dicked men receive small penis humiliation from girls for driving their Red cars around, but also these men have to contend with the humiliation of birds pooping on their rides more than any other color car!!!

red-car-poop

Do Small Red Cars Attract Small Penis Humiliation

Do Small Red Cars Attract Small Penis Humiliation…

Small Penis Humiliation Car

The new Toyota Scion iQ features an averaged 37 mpg, which is nearly the highest mpg of any non-hybrid on the road. Consumers are buying it for its gas mileage and easy to park size in cities where parking spaces are at a premium. The only other car that the Scion competes with on gas mileage and price is the Smart Car. But the Scion features more practical interior space and the Toyota engineering and quality that American car buyers revere. However, the question is, when women see a man driving a red Toyota Scion, will they be thinking small penis humiliation or tiny car – low gas mileage – environmentally aware – city driver? Especially with a tiny Red car, will they be thinking tiny cock humiliation? Red is a popular color with the smaller cars. The Red Car Small Penis blog can debate if Red is just a stand-out color for smaller fuel-efficient and city cars such as the Smart Car and Fiat 500 and Mini-Cooper as the Red color is reminiscent of Red toy cars. Since the Scion isn’t exactly a Red sports car a la the Red Car Small Penis humiliation Ferrari or Lamborghini, will Red Toyota Scion drivers attract small penis humiliation?

Small Penis Humiliation Addiction

Small Penis Humiliation Addiction can take many different forms. Small penis humiliation phone sex is a hot addiction. But in this case of small penis humiliation addiction, it’s “auto-eroticism” and Red car obsession. This subject of addiction and obsession professes his love for Chase and kisses Chase, the only thing is: Chase isn’t his boyfriend. Chase is his car. Specifically, a Red 1998 Monte Carlo. It’s one thing to drive a Rred car, but it’s another thing to love, as in really love, a Red car. Objectophilia, loving an object, is a strange fetish, obsession and addiction.

Imagine the small penis humiliation that this Red car small penis owner now experiences especially since he and his Red car were featured on TLC’s “My Strange Addiction”. Girls have to be freaked about a guy who gets “intimate” with his Red car. And his car is named after a dude, so it seems like gay small penis humiliation, too. Yes, a car fag and his fag-mobile! He is such a Red Car Small Penis fag that he is compelled to stare at his Red car during the day on his work computer’s screensaver and he also sleeps with a little toy Red car named Dylan every night. Red car addiction and Red car fetish! And gay small penis humiliation addiction. Why is it small penis humilation addiction? Obviously, this Red car owner has a small penis, or he wouldn’t be in love with his car! Plus he’s addicted to his Red car!

Lifted Cars are Small Penis Extenders on Wheels

Men who drive cars or pick-up trucks with special suspension customizations to lift their cars or pick-up trucks and install oversized tires may as well be advertising to women that they need to lift their penis size as well. Women who see these lifted cars or trucks are only thinking that the drivers are psychologically trying to enlarge their penis by installing penis extenders on their rides. Lifted cars are small penis extenders on wheels. Pathetic! Women are not impressed by lifted cars or trucks, rather, they are only thinking: small penis humiliation on wheels. Most women know that men who are driving lifted cars or trucks with special lift apparatus, should be buying penis extenders instead and working on lengthening what really needs to be lengthened or upsized, not the height of their cars or pick-ups and not the size of their tires.

Red Pick Up Truck Lifted

Every time I see one of these lifted pick-ups or cars, even if it’s a low rider in Little Havana, I think: lifted car, small penis. The funny thing is that most of these lifted cars and trucks are Red! Which is more evidence of Red Car Small Penis humiliation on wheels. Plus a waste of money! Men should be spending the thousands they spent on customizing their cars or trucks on something that matters, not their small penis mobiles.

Red Car Lifters

Is a Red Car a Mating Signal for Men with a Small Penis ?

Or should I call this blog post: mini-fridge, small penis humiliation… The Superbowl yielded some interesting automotive related ads. One ad featured the new Chevy Camaro convertible. In this ad, a recent high school grad goes bananas over seeing a yellow sports car in front of his parents’ house, mistaking it as his graduation gift, overlooking that his parents bought him a mini-fridge for his dorm room. Disappointment doesn’t hit the recent grad, only confusion, when a paunchy middle-aged neighbor shows up with his golf club bag and drives away in the classic yellow Camaro, leaving the grad to wonder what happened while his parents offer up the mini-fridge decorated with a big red bow in lieu of the little deuce coupe?? The secondary story line in the commercial is that the real yellow car buyer market is most likely the middled aged small penis humiliation mid-life crisis buyer who can afford the pricey new Chevy Camaro. Another instance of Yellow is the New Red.

Fiat featured an interesting Femdom vs. beta male Superbowl commercial where the dominant female takes control of the small penis humiliation beta male wimp and teases him by grabbing his black tie (phallic subliminal) and painting frappucino cream on his lips (forced bi subliminal). She then morphs into a Fiat 500 Abarth and drives away. While the Fiat 500 Abarth is black with Red trim, and not small penis humiliation Red, one of my girlfriends interpreted the Red trim as a buying “signal” to beta males. Her credentials: She majored in marketing for a major university and worked in marketing for a major fast food corporation. So is the color Red a buying signal to beta males with small penises? I researched online about the color red as a “signal”, and it actually is a sexual mating signal. Do beta males with small penis humiliation feel they need to flash the Red mating signal in a Red car whereas more confident hung males do not?


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