Posts Tagged ‘Red Car’
Red Hello Kitty Smart Car
Now there is no way in Hell-o Kitty this red car’s driver has a small penis! Antonio Garay, 6′ 4 and 320 pound nose tackle for the New York Jets loves his red Hello Kitty Smart Car. In fact, using the Google predictive search, as soon as you type in his name, the words smart car appear right after. Therefore, he is searched more for his infamous smart car than his years of NFL stats! He drives this two-seater convertible, because he thinks it’s cool. And why not. Everyone recognizes the signature ride wherever he goes. His whip is anything but girlie when he’s seated behind the wheel. And there can be no humiliation for driving a sensible vehicle. When so many athletes blow their futures by overspending on pricey sports car collections, expensive cribs and other showy bling, owning a relatively inexpensive and catchy looking car is a superior choice. Garay promotes his own way of doing things while displaying his personal style, including sculpted multi-color artsy hair and customized iPhone cases. Perhaps this style-meister will go into personalized product design after his NFL career is over.
Red Car Porn
The first Cadillac ATS commercial I viewed on Youtube was filmed in a unique locale in China with select aerial footage shot by a red helicopter {gratuitous wink}. The series of four commercials which Cadillac produced to promote their trendy new sedan featured two 30-something dudes craving a red car porn rush. I could only think of three words: small penis humiliation. After viewing the Youtube clip, I wondered if these guys really thought it was that impressive to drive the red Cadillac ATS sports sedan through such a “tight” tunnel. Oh, the subliminal metaphor…
Cadillac spent a lot of money on these commercials to showcase their optional “magnetic ride control suspension”. Cadillac even goes so far as to tout the Cadillac ATS as “the world’s finest luxury compact sport sedan”. However, many aficionados of European luxury sport sedans such as BMWs and Mercedes would definitely disagree. Nevertheless, Cadillac engineers deserve some props for their magnetic ride control development as this adaptive suspension was later integrated by Ferrari and Lamborghini. In recent times, American car engineers are behind the curve not ahead of it. However, the casting of the 30-something adrenaline junkies in a series of racy commercials, most likely a marketing ploy to reach that particular male buyer demographic, seems a little desperate even though the locales of the commercials are beautifully breathtaking. And to be honest, if any guys go out and buy a red Cadillac sedan after watching any of these car porn commercials and attempt to drive their red Caddies like sporty BMWs to impress chicks, well… that will only be met with small penis humiliation.
Birds Poop on Red Cars
Apparently, it’s not humiliating enough to be a man with a small penis driving a red car. According to a new study from the UK, birds poop on red cars more than any other color car. The birds poop on Red cars study wasn’t able to conclusively pinpoint why birds seem to target Red cars more frequently than cars of other colors. The study suggested a few theories, but failed to touch on the one that is quite obvious to me. These instinctive creatures apparently know exactly what women have known for years – that men who drive Red cars have a small penis and need to suffer the humiliation associated with having such an inadequate appendage!!! Bird droppings = small penis humiliation. Park your Red car at the beach and the seagulls will assault your car and make girls laugh even more about your tiny dick or throw you the small dick humiliation pinkie salute when they see you getting into your Red car with the customized polka dotted paint job.
So… not only do short dicked men receive small penis humiliation from girls for driving their Red cars around, but also these men have to contend with the humiliation of birds pooping on their rides more than any other color car!!!
Do Small Red Cars Attract Small Penis Humiliation
Do Small Red Cars Attract Small Penis Humiliation…
The new Toyota Scion iQ features an averaged 37 mpg, which is nearly the highest mpg of any non-hybrid on the road. Consumers are buying it for its gas mileage and easy to park size in cities where parking spaces are at a premium. The only other car that the Scion competes with on gas mileage and price is the Smart Car. But the Scion features more practical interior space and the Toyota engineering and quality that American car buyers revere. However, the question is, when women see a man driving a red Toyota Scion, will they be thinking small penis humiliation or tiny car – low gas mileage – environmentally aware – city driver? Especially with a tiny Red car, will they be thinking tiny cock humiliation? Red is a popular color with the smaller cars. The Red Car Small Penis blog can debate if Red is just a stand-out color for smaller fuel-efficient and city cars such as the Smart Car and Fiat 500 and Mini-Cooper as the Red color is reminiscent of Red toy cars. Since the Scion isn’t exactly a Red sports car a la the Red Car Small Penis humiliation Ferrari or Lamborghini, will Red Toyota Scion drivers attract small penis humiliation?
