Does Penis Size Matter
Nothing tells the world you have a small penis more than driving a Red Ferrari sports car around SoCal. And if you’re Ashton Kutcher, not all the millions you have accumulated from your films, tv shows and successful tech deals can make up for having a small penis. Not even having Mila Kunis as your new girlfriend can serve as sweet solace for lacking in size. When women are asked: Does Penis Size Matter – the blazing majority would answer: Size Matters. Obviously, size doesn’t matter to Mila Kunis, since her former long-term boyfriend was McCaulay Culkin. Mila Kunis must truly fall in love and love is blind and blind to penis size. Hmmm, maybe Mila Kunis does choose her boyfriends for size, wallet size, that is. Jumping from Culkin to Kutcher represented a 10x net worth boyfriend leap to $140 million. Nice!
Ashton Kutcher first popped up on the Red Car Small Penis radar when he bought a Red International Pickup Truck, the largest pickup truck in production at the time. It’s true! Red Truck Small Penis and Big Truck Small Penis. Double tiny cock whammy for Ashton. And now with his Red Ferrari, Ashton Kutcher continues to buy small penis humiliation on four wheels.
Mitt Romney Red Car Video
In this clever political satire video by Romney Girl (check her out at RomneyGirl.org), the hot blond Romney Girl dresses as the Swiss Miss (a little homage to Mitt’s Swiss bank accounts) while singing along to Aqua’s “Barbie Girl” melody. Romney Girl has penned witty and sarcastic new lyrics to the Aqua tune, bashing Mitt for his bourgeois lifestyle, hiding his millions in overseas bank accounts, going “taxless”, silver tipping his hair and more. In the opening of the video, she skips up to Mitt in his Red Mustang and asks him “do you have something to hide” which in addition to the money he has stashed in offshore accounts and the tax returns he won’t reveal, could Romney Girl be hinting at: Mitt is also hiding a small penis! Why else would she have artfully placed the Mitt Romney lookalike in a Red sports car unless… Mitt Romney Red Car Small Penis!
Mitt and the Swiss Miss Barbie Girl ride around in New York City and various high faluting or fellating places like a mansion with bubbling spa, champagne that popped its foamy money shot and a yacht club. Supposedly Mitt owns a Red Mustang convertible, a midlife crisis birthday gift from his wife! Check out my new favorite small penis humiliation video, Romney Girl, on Youtube. Oops, it seems that Universal Music Group didn’t enjoy the parody of Aqua’s “Barbie Girl” that Romney Girl used in her video and so the evil corporate magnates (Republicans?) requested that Youtube take down the video.
from a Red Car Small Penis blog reader: yes you are right, it’s New York City. the bank is Chase Bank, where you see the flag flying across the building with pillars is the New York Stock Exchange, the bull is a symbol of the bull market for Wall Street and I’m pretty sure where the boats are moored is Chelsea Piers…
Red Ferrari Crash
Six years ago Swedish gangster Bo Stefan Eriksson claimed the million dollar Red Ferrari Enzo that crashed and split in half on Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu had been driven by a mysterious German driver he dubbed “Dietrich”. In this cinema stunt-worthy crash, the gangsta from Svenska also claimed he was just the passenger. After the Red Ferrari crash, Eriksson suffered the humiliation of being booked on multiple charges including illegal gun possession and two counts of embezzlement related to his sketchy dealings with exotic cars. Eriksson pleaded no contest to the charges and was sentenced to three years in the klink. Eriksson should have truly considered himself lucky as he could have been killed, instead, he walked away from the spectacular 120 mph high speed crash, attesting to the quality of the Ferrari’s design safety. The Red Ferrari, shown in the photo, was literally sheared in half as if cut by a cake knife.
Flash forward now six years later. The police chose not to engage a speeding driver of a Mercedes in Beverly Hills for traffic safety reasons, but the 5-0 located him later. As it turned out, this was the mysterious “Dietrich”, only his real name is Trevor Karney. Ironically, Karney claims to have been the passenger in the original Red Ferrari smash-up. Two passengers, one Ferrari. What, no driver? Karney has no fixed address, but states he lives on a boat in Marina del Rey. Shades of Sonny Crockett and Miami Vice, chez California. But Crockett primarily drove a white 1986 Ferrari Testarossa. And now to continue with the cake knife metaphor, a cake that commemorated the crash, complete with a bottle of Absolut. Let them eat a Red Ferrari Enzo cake, but wash it down with some Swedish vodka!
Red Car Big Dick
When I write Red Car Big Dick, in this case, I refer to dick in the pejorative, not the anatomical sense. Check out the Red Ferrari 458 driver in New York City who tried to dick his way out of a parking ticket by driving away from the police officer who had warned the driver, Julien Chabbott, to remain on the sidewalk while the ticket was issued. The Ferrari owner, an app developer who co-developed the app known as Line Snob, didn’t heed the police officer’s directive and even tried to drive away, running over part of the officer’s foot. Hmmm did he think he could get away sans ticket after pulling that smooth move? When he’s in line to be arraigned by a judge, will he be able to use his Line Snob app and jump the line?
Yes, his Line Snob app’s theme is where to go to shop, party or travel without long waits in lines. Wonder if he thought about the line to get fingerprinted and have his mug shot photo taken as well. The icing on the Red Car Small Penis humiliation cake is when he’s getting dragged off to some NYC police station, his blonde eye candy piece, Stephanie Pratt, from the tv show “The Hills” (Spencer Pratt’s sister, yes that Spencer Pratt of the famewhore duo Heidi and Spencer) takes off in the Red Ferrari valued at over $250K. Small penis humiliation as this was all captured on Youtube and the humiliating Youtube video has over 2,100,000 views and counting. Nothing like millions of people knowing: Red Car Big Dick.
Youtube video credit: Damian Morys
Facebook: www.facebook.com/DamianMorysPhotos
Update: Chabbott now claims that a valet was negligent in not parking his Ferrari and that the police officer erred in writing him a ticket. It would seem a simple explanation to the officer and confirmation by the hotel or valet would support the scenario instead of Chabbott trying to drive away and blow off the ticket.
Red Car Small Penis – Exceptions to the Rules
Red Car Small Penis – Exceptions to the Rules
Does owning or driving a red car necessarily signify that a man has a small penis? Well, there are exceptions to every rule. For instance, a recent blog post here on Red Car Small Penis explored that Kobe Bryant drives a Red Ferrari, but it’s been well documented that he doesn’t lack size. That being said, are there certain categories of men who the Red Car Small Penis rule doesn’t apply to?
Eric Clapton is known for his legendary guitar play, but he’s also known as a collector of expensive sports cars, particularly a custom built Red Ferrari Enzo that cost him well over $4 million. Another extremely wealthy musician who has an extensive red car collection is the drummer for Pink Floyd, Nick Mason. He is known to be fanatical about his cars and has a passion for racing these finely tuned machines. But are these Brits advertising that they’re short, short men, or do they just like expensive toys?
Maybe it’s because these musicians are über rich and have nothing else to do with their money. The principle that guys who buy Red sports cars automatically have small penises may not apply to super wealthy men who are buying expensive toys to play with as opposed to mens wanting to drive flashy Red small penis size compensation cars to attract females on the streets.
Or maybe there’s a geographical distinction, since these celebs are both of English descent. There is a long history of buying sports cars in England, dating back to roadsters in the 20’s. The British didn’t go through the phallocentric auto trends of every decade like Americans have, examples: hot rods, muscle cars, street racers, etc. Buying a Red sports car may be emblematic of the British culture for an appreciation of the sports car, of racing, of good taste. Could Red Car Small Penis say that buying a Red sports car doesn’t automatically equal small penis humiliation for British sports car owners? Like I said to start this entry, there are exceptions to the rules, but one thing is certain, there is a high correlation to driving a Red car with having a small penis. So if you drive a Red sports car, expect to be humiliated by girls flashing the small penis humiliation pinky wave unless you can prove your size. Otherwise take it that you’re advertising you’re small where it matters most!
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