Ferrari Measuring Small Penis Size? Humiliating!
If I were in the market for an expensive Italian small penis humiliation Red sportscar, I doubt I’d want the car to react to my driving and make adjustments based on my biometrics, unless it was to alert me that I was falling asleep at the wheel. Other than warning me of impending shut-eye, I’d want to drive, baby, drive! And that seems to be the consensus of most sportscar drivers who reacted to the news of Ferrari’s design plans for a “mind-reading” car.
At some point in the future, Ferraris will come equipped with biometric measuring systems that will monitor heartbeat, respiration, blood pressure, eye blink rate (for alertness), and will automatically make adjustments to the car’s performance and stability controls based on those readings. The impetus behind the system isn’t only to wake up sleepy drivers, but also to counteract aggressive, hyper-excited drivers. However, just how the Ferraris will react wasn’t revealed. Is a Ferrari going to react to the aggressive driver thru the interactive system to slow the car down to 25 mph? Or will a female autobot voice alert come on and say: Your driving is reckless, please slow down and drive safely. Or better yet, the female autobot voice could say to the driver: Because I have detected you have a small penis, you have the psychological need to drive in an aggressive manner to compensate for your small penis size. There’s nothing you can do about your small penis, but there is something you can do about your reckless driving, slow down! Now that would be some on-board small penis humiliation for Ferrari owners. Perhaps new Ferraris should come equipped with another biometric feature, wouldn’t it be humiliating if the system included the ability to measure small penis size!
Red Cars, Small Penis Humiliation
My Red Car Small Penis blog missed the small penis humiliation trifecta on this Red car find! However, with two out of three cars in “small penis” red, I would bet the owner of these three cars is well endowed with cash, but not so well endowed with penis size. At first, I thought these three sports cars were parked in a primo showroom garage. As it turns out, the garage is not an actual garage, but an art gallery which can park up to 30 collectible cars! Without a panoramic view of the art gallery garage, it’s hard to imagine the magnitude of a space 10 times the size depicted.
As for the cars, my Red Car Small Penis automotive expert identified a newer Red Ferrari, a classic Red Porsche coupe and an uber classic gull-wing door silver Mercedes roadster. It seems a shame to waste the newer Red Ferrari in a collector car garage, that sports car should be driven! If for no other reason than small penis humiliation! This art gallery collector car garage is located in Santa Barbara, California, in a renowned “architectural” house currently listed on the market for over 20 million dollars. Yes, you read that dollar figure right. Unlike the Malibu, California beach house, where the seller was using a free Red Ferrari as small penis humiliation buyer bait, none of these cars are being used to seduce a buyer with big cash, small penis.
photo c/o MLS.com
Red MINI, Mini Penis Humiliation!
A red BMW Mini Cooper was the prize in a recent German radio station contest where contestants pitched the most crazy and outrageous stunt they would do in order to win the car. And the winner was…Andreas Muller who committed to having the word MINI tattooed onto his penis! Red MINI, Mini Penis?
The German radio station manager didn’t miss an opportunity to deliver the zinger that Andreas “won by a head”. The actual tattooing was broadcast live on the radio station by a female disc jockey, the live broadcast even included Andreas’ screams of pain. Notice in the photo that Andreas had to be taped and bound to the tattoo parlor chair! The German media captured photos of the small penis humiliation event and the kleinschwanz news story hit the internet. Even Chelsea Handler, on her Chelsea Lately show, covered the small penis humiliation story and commented that no woman would want to do a guy who had the word MINI tattooed on his penis.
Andreas claims he’s going to be adding some tattoo flames to the MINI tattoo on his small penis to make it look like it’s in motion. What’s in motion? The MINI tattoo? His penis? Most likely his penis in motion in his hand!
When asked about the MINI penis tattoo pain, Andreas replied that once he was sitting in the Mini Cooper, the pain would disappear. Well, while we are laughing in small penis humiliation, Andreas is driving around in a Red BMW Mini Cooper worth $32,000. Perhaps Andreas is getting the last laugh as the humiliation and pain was worth it to win the Mini. Even if it meant thousands of people now know he has a MINI penis, that is, especially if he’s into small penis humiliation!
The Red Car Small Penis Humiliation Trifecta!
Not just one, not just two, but three expensive red collector sportscars? How small is this penis? One car per inch? A vintage red Aston Martin, Porsche and Ferrari collectively smell like small penis humiliation and imported carnauba wax! Parked in their very own no-expense-spared, impeccably designed and racing theme accessorized showroom garage with (likely Italian) marble tile floors…these small penises on Pirelli tires are probably only driven up and down the imported stone driveway. A SoCal friend noted the ocean blue license plates are old pre-1980 California tags probably dating back to the era of the Red small penis cars. Yes, this Red sportsar owner undoubtedly obsesses over such authentic details. These British and European sports cars are ultra primo small penis humiliation toys. And obviously kept hand waxed and buffed to perfection, hmmm do I detect Freudian vicarious small penis masturbation?
Unfortunately, unlike the Malibu ocean view villa I previously blogged about where the savvy owner dangled the free Red Ferrari to anyone who bought the property by a specific date, none of these small penis humiliation cars are part of the deal re: the impressive Northern California estate property replete with garage showroom currently on the market for over seven million dollars. It could be assumed that the owner is hoping to attract another wealthy car collector as the pimped out garage can fit not just three, but six small penis humiliation sports cars.
While this is the first time, Red Car? Small Penis! has hit the Small Penis Trifecta, I doubt it will be the last. Enjoy the Red Car Small Penis humiliation photos!
