Posts Tagged ‘Small Penis Humiliation’
The Red Car Small Penis Humiliation Trifecta!
Not just one, not just two, but three expensive red collector sportscars? How small is this penis? One car per inch? A vintage red Aston Martin, Porsche and Ferrari collectively smell like small penis humiliation and imported carnauba wax! Parked in their very own no-expense-spared, impeccably designed and racing theme accessorized showroom garage with (likely Italian) marble tile floors…these small penises on Pirelli tires are probably only driven up and down the imported stone driveway. A SoCal friend noted the ocean blue license plates are old pre-1980 California tags probably dating back to the era of the Red small penis cars. Yes, this Red sportsar owner undoubtedly obsesses over such authentic details. These British and European sports cars are ultra primo small penis humiliation toys. And obviously kept hand waxed and buffed to perfection, hmmm do I detect Freudian vicarious small penis masturbation?
Unfortunately, unlike the Malibu ocean view villa I previously blogged about where the savvy owner dangled the free Red Ferrari to anyone who bought the property by a specific date, none of these small penis humiliation cars are part of the deal re: the impressive Northern California estate property replete with garage showroom currently on the market for over seven million dollars. It could be assumed that the owner is hoping to attract another wealthy car collector as the pimped out garage can fit not just three, but six small penis humiliation sports cars.
While this is the first time, Red Car? Small Penis! has hit the Small Penis Trifecta, I doubt it will be the last. Enjoy the Red Car Small Penis humiliation photos!
Is Yellow the New Small Penis Humiliation Car Color?
From the Red Car? Small Penis! eMailbag:
Sara, I love your small penis humiliation blog, and you do remind me of Sarah Silverman. Your sense of humor and I think she’s very sexy and attractive, too. I enjoyed your blog write-up about what Sarah Silverman’s father put on his Twitter about car size vs. penis size in Boca, now that was funny. And I totally agree about your theory that Orange is the new Red! But can I share with you my theory about yellow cars. I think there are some men with small penises who are “afraid” to buy Red cars. They feel it will mark them as having small penises, and bring them small penis humiliation, so they buy yellow sportscars instead. I am living proof. Walt
I just found your blog, you’re too much! I am addicted to reading auto blogs and your blog came up on a search. A girl writing a car blog, but it’s really about small penis humiliation, now that’s original! Here’s my picture. I have a small one in case you couldn’t guess. And I could have bought a Red Maserati, but I knew it would be like wearing a sign, hey I have a small pickle. I thought yellow, expensive and a powerful engine would command some respect on the street. Occasionally, girls giggle when they see me driving it and I’ve gotten the small penis humiliation salute (little pinkie wave as you call it), so I think they know. This is both humiliating and exciting. I like to drive around, just soaking it all up. Max
The Bigger the Car, the Smaller You Are?
How much does the size choice of a man’s car equate to his penis size?
Comedienne Sarah Silverman’s father tweets about life from Boca Raton, Florida. You can actually see where her sardonic sense of humor comes from, if you follow him on his RantsFromBoca Twitter. One of his recent tweets:
Boca rumor has it the bigger the car the smaller the penis. So why am I driving a Prius? Maybe it isn’t applicable if you are 73.
A Red Prius was a virtual joke-mobile for actors Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg playing farcical French Connection-esque cops in last year’s comedy film “The Other Guys”. The Red Prius took the brunt of “small” jokes intimating small penis humiliation.
And the Prius, perhaps due to its name, a five letter word that sounds like Penis, continues to be a target for small penis humiliation jokes, regardless of color. In this case, a small car is associated with having a small penis as if it is a mirror to small penis humiliation size. Prius? Small Penis!
I’ve also blogged about how men aka losers who try to overcompensate for lack of penis size by buying a big-ass SUV, super-sized pick-up truck or large luxury sedan, but not necessarily in the color known as “small penis” red. In this case, it’s: Big Car? Small Penis!
Emma Parker Bowles, a British expat and writer living in LA, and yes, niece of cuckoldress Camilla Parker Bowles, penned an interesting article in the The Sun, a UK news journal, about the same small penis humiliation topic. She opined that men with small penises seek out larger cars to compensate for their lack of penis size, but lamented she couldnt’ go around de-pantsing the big car drivers to prove her theory. Oh, if only! She also noted that Americans have an obsession about car size regardless of penis size and much more so than car owners in other countries. She felt that despite the new trend in the US toward driving smaller cars and hybrids, that Americans will typically seek out larger vehicles to drive. In America, she stated, “bigger is better” regardless of fuel costs or environmental impact.
Image c/o movie still from “The Other Guys”
Porsche Driving Test = Testosterone Thrills
Unfortunately, the penis size of the drivers was not measured before they took their test spins in the Toyota and the Porsche for this study on male testosterone levels. And it wasn’t advised if the test Porsche was Red! But the study results were surprising!
A research study done by Concordia University in Montreal focused on testosterone levels of males before and after driving both a relatively conservative sedan, a Toyota Camry, and a racy convertible sportscar, a Porsche 911 Cabriolet. The study group was comprised of approximately forty male college students. The test subjects were given a course to drive which basically consisted of two vastly different street environments. One street was considered busy and for purposes of the study, was filled with attractive young women on the sidewalks. The other street was essentially deserted. Then after each spin in the Toyota and Porsche on the test streets, each man’s saliva was measured for his testosterone levels. Even I did not guess the surprising results.
First, whether the element of the attractive women was present or not, the testosterone level of the male subjects did not increase after driving the Camry. Hmmm, there was no increase in testosterone even when exposed to the sexy women?
Second, when the test subjects in the Porsche 911 drove down the street filled with hot chicks, their testosterone levels rose. OK I guessed that. But then when the same test subjects drove down the empty street in the Porsche, their testosterone levels rose. OK I guessed that too. But what was most interesting: The testosterone rose to the same levels as it did when the test drivers drove down the street with the attractive ladies parading on the sidewalk.
The lead researcher conducting the study, Gad Saad, concluded, “Put a guy in a Porsche and his testosterone levels shoot up, whether people are watching or not.” According to Saad, this is a biological reaction. But what about the lack of testosterone reaction to the sexy women? Saad clarified that the consistent rise in testosterone for the Porsche drivers constituted a form of sexual signaling regardless if females were present. This passive sexual signaling was supposed to indicate that the drivers of the Porsche were the best potential mates.
So do men choose to drive racier sportscars as a general mating signal, regardless if the signal is received? What if women find it pathetic that the sportscar drivers, regardless of their testosterone levels, aren’t ideal mates if the cars (by color or type) signal to the females: small penis humiliation! Do men seek to drive sportscars to get more of a testosterone thrill even if there are no women present and regardless of small penis humiliation? Is testosterone a hormone to which men can become addicted, similar to adrenaline?
Small penis humiliation aside, more research is definitely needed if there are biological components as to why a man’s testosterone reacts the way it does when driving particular vehicles. But I would certainly like to see the next study include a Red Porsche and penis size measurements to know if there are variants if the drivers have a small penis and to determine if there are testosterone reactions to a Red sportscar color!
Midlife Crisis or Small Penis Humiliation?
“You’re probably just having a midlife crisis,” Scarlett Johansson informed Bill Murray in the movie “Lost in Translation”. “Did you buy a Porsche yet?” Or should Scarlett have asked if he had bought a Red Porsche yet?
In most surveys conducted of male drivers, the most popular midlife crisis car is the Porsche and Red is the most popular color! Not that anyone needed a survey to deduce that information. There has to be something about the Red sportscar as midlife crisis signifier, in addition to women interpreting it as small penis humiliation on wheels.
But in an effort not to stereotype, can a Red sportscar signify other than midlife crisis symbol or small penis humiliation? Let’s explore some of the other reasons why men dare to buy a Red sportscar:
1. Success car, that such a luxury toy can be afforded. Showing off income on a spendy car. Adding the car to a collection.
2. Midlife crisis car, psychologically compensates for youth slipping away, but aging driver ends up looking ridiculous behind the wheel.
3. Trying to attract women, regardless of small or large penis size. Showy, flashy or colorful maneuvering is a biological trait of males in many species. “Hey, look at me!” Yeah, how could we miss your Red Porsche in the sea of SUVs?
3. Small penis humiliation car, which can also encompass Reasons #1, #2 and #3! Overcompensating for having a small penis, but overlooking that women immediately stereotype the driver of a Red sports car as having a small penis regardless of income or age.
Now here is a driver who I would say bought his Red Porsche for Reasons #1 thru #4. Successful, midlife crisis, flashy small penis humiliation!
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