Posts Tagged ‘Red Ferrari’
Red Car Small Penis Myths!
While there are small penis humiliation myths debunked below by statistical data about driving and insuring red cars, one interesting stat is that studies have shown red cars are involved in more accidents than any other color cars… Hmmmm could that mean that red car drivers are driving unsafely, faster than they should, trying to show off, in an effort to overcompensate for small penis humiliation?
As if it isn’t enough of a statement of small penis humiliation to be seen driving an ultra expensive rare Red Ferrari, consider the humiliation when this Australian university student had to make the dreaded cell phone call: “Ummm Dad, I just wrecked your $400,000 Ferrari…”

The “Red Car Bias” Myth #1: A common misconception is that red sportscar drivers tend to receive more speeding tickets than drivers of other color cars. Could it be due to their flashiness? Or that red car small penis drivers receive tickets due to envy of the patrolling officers? This is compounded by the ostensible optical illusion created by a red car’s color that makes it appear to be going faster than it really is, regardless of a radar gun. Too bad there isn’t a radar gun that also detects small penis size.
Let’s confer with the experts. According to the Insurance Information Institute: “There is no data to support the assertion that red cars receive more traffic tickets than cars of any other color.” Still, the Rrd car speeding ticket myth has been so widely accepted that it correlates to another Red Car? Small Penis! driving myth below.
The “Red Car Bias” Myth #2: How many car buyers have avoided red cars because they believed owning a red car would mean higher insurance rates than cars of other colors? (Let alone that it would mark them for small penis humiliation…) However, while some studies have suggested red cars are involved in a disproportionate number of accidents, according to the same insurance institute: “There are no major insurance companies that consider car color when determining insurance rates.” The bottom line in the auto insurance industry is that drivers with good driving records, who drive safe vehicles, park off-street at their residences, live in a low theft risk area and drive a moderate amount of miles per year typically have the lowest car insurance premiums. Drivers of red cars, whether they sport a humiliating small penis or monster cock, aren’t necessarily “penalized” for driving and insuring a red car. That is, until they rack up the speeding tickets or get into an at-fault accident. Not only will their auto insurance rates rise, but also their small penis humiliation!
Images c/o SydneyMorningHerald.com
Red Ferrari Small Penis Humiliation
Fallacy (or should I say Phallus-y): Buying an expensive Red sports car will increase the size of your small penis!
Fact: Buying an expensive Red sports car will increase girls’ knowledge of your small penis and therefore, your small penis humiliation!
One eBay UK “member” found out the “hard” way (hey, puns are just rolling off my keyboard) that a shiny fast Red Ferrari does not increase the size of a little dick and only adds to small penis humiliation, so much so, that he tried to auction it off on eBay.
Check out the 1984 Ferrari Testarossa depicted below. A classic Red Italian stallion featuring 385 horsepower, the Testarossa first debuted in 1984 and was named for the daughter of Ferrari’s founder who was a redhead. (Testarossa means redhead in Italian). Redheads are also considered good luck in Italy. In fact, Italians will touch someone’s red hair for luck. No luck was needed in the case of the Testarossa becoming an instant classic in the Ferrari line. However, the eBayer trying to part with his “red car small penis” Testarossa had no luck with his auction.

But when reviewing the eBay member’s auction history, to his small penis humiliation and embarrassment everyone could see what he last purchased: a Doc Johnson Titan Penis Enlargement Pump!
At least Doc Johnson added a caveat to the description of their Penis Enlargement Pump, unlike the Red Ferrari… The Doc Johnson Penis Enlargement Pump disclaimer detailed that some men declare the use of penis enlargement pumps as being effective tools for increasing size of their little “tools”. Others have reported that Penis Enlargement Pumps do not have any lasting effect on small penis size. It is acknowledged that penis pumpers can extend the length of their small dicks while using the pump, but have found their small penises will return to original small penis humiliation size after using the device.
The same caveat, it appears, could be applied to Ferraris…
Not only will a Red Ferrari not make a small penis bigger, it may also make it smaller! To all the girls who see any man driving it!
Image c/o eBay.co.uk
Red Ferrari Theme Park?
Yes, it’s true. But it’s actually a Ferrari Theme Park, with a Red color scheme for the main park structure, depicted below. Slated to open this month, Ferrari World is located in Abu Dhabi, capital of the United Arab Emirates. Why Abu Dhabi? The Gulf region boasts a wealthy population with a passion for motorsports. The Abu Dhabi Grand Prix, a Formula One race, is held annually less than an hour away. Where else, but in one of the richest cosmopolitan cities in the Middle East region, would there be such conspicuous display of affluence and a plethora of expensive supercars on the road?

OK, I admit, if I had been asked where I thought the new Ferrari Theme Park was located, I would not have guessed Abu Dhabi. I would have guessed Las Vegas, but not based on high per capita income or abundance of Red Italian sportscars cruising the Strip. Las Vegas would have been my guess mainly because it has desert land in proximity where such a park could have been developed and it has a continuous supply of tourists. Or I would have guessed one of the Disney locations, as there are continual “thrill ride” additions to the Disney theme park empire.
Ferrari Theme Park claims to fame: 1. First Ferrari Theme Park 2. World’s Fastest Roller Coaster at 150 mph // 240 km/h 3. Largest Ferrari Logo in the World (note: the largest Ferrari Logo in the World isn’t doing anything for me).
Theme attractions: See above plus 1. Racing simulators 2. Theme park ride water ride thru a Ferrari engine 3. Ferrari Racing School 4. Video history of Ferrari Racing and the Ferrari Factory 5. Ferrari cars including classic and concept cars on display 6. A Ferrari G-Force Simulator Tower Ride 7. An aerial tour of Italy following a Red Ferrari driving over the road and more, more, more.
But I find it ironic that while this multi-million dollar park is opening in Abu Dhabi, not too far away, in Dubai, the largest city in the United Arab Emirates, Ferraris and other sportscars are being abandoned in record numbers due to the collapse of the building boom and cut-backs in oil company staffing. I imagine when this theme park was first envisioned, financed and developed, that the Gulf economy was not in such dire straits.
Image c/o Ferrari World
Free Red Ferrari – Humiliating?

Do you have millions of dollars lying around or do you have the qualifications to finance a monster mortgage? Want to live in a popular Malibu movie star and professional athlete’s neighborhood (Puerco Canyon) plus drive a Hollywood movie star or pro athlete’s worthy ride: a Red Ferrari F40 sportscar valued at $75,000? Then this is definitely the house and small penis humiliation car for you! What a sweet catch! But the hidden, or maybe not so hidden catch is that it will mean despite your massive wealth, what’s in your pants (besides your fat wallet) isn’t so massive.

Update: According to this beautiful Malibu house’s “for sale” website, the owner has changed their marketing strategy. Perhaps offering the small penis humiliation Red Ferrari as an incentive just wasn’t working to attract buyers. Now, if you want to buy the Mediterranean style Malibu ocean view house, you no longer get the Red Car Small Penis Ferrari as a bonus! Epic disappointment! But the owner is offering the home completely furnished, statues included, and lowering the price of the house by $400,000 to $3,999,333. The new offering will have appeal, but of course I’m slanted toward the previous deal with the free Rred Ferrari.
The house and pool back up to Pacific Coast Highway right across from singer / actress Cher’s $40 million dollar renowned beachfront estate which is also presently for sale. Yes, Cher wants ten times as much for her palatial digs which makes this house seem like a bargain in lieu.

Images c/o MLS.com











