Posts Tagged ‘Red Car’
Small Penis Compensation Vehicles!
Small Penis Compensation Vehicles also known as SPCV’s are not just cars, but motorcycles, pick-up trucks, SUVs, boats, jet skis, anything big or flashy or fast that will compensate for their owners having small penises. And the most popular color for SPCV’s? Red, of course!
Don’t men who buy red Small Penis Compensation Vehicles realize that women automatically think “small penis” and even more so “small penis humiliation” when they spot an SPCV? Still, that doesn’t seem to stop men with small penises from buying Red SPCV’s. Figuring there must be a reason why Red is the go-to color for SPCV’s, I personally queried several Red Car Small Penis owners why they had purchased Red sports cars. The most common response was: they wanted a Red car, because it excited them! And when I advised them that women only think one thing when they see a man driving a Red car, the most common response was: at least they’d be noticed… Hmmm, so tiny cock losers driving blue or white or black cars, assume they will not be noticed and will just blend in with traffic. Tiny cock losers don’t mind inviting the attention and small penis humiliation that owning a Red sports car entails, because women will “notice them”. This goes back to the basic psychological premise that “negative attention” is better than no attention at all. Ergo, small penis humiliation is better than no attention at all to a Small Penis Compensation Vehicle owner!
The Bigger the Car, the Smaller You Are?
How much does the size choice of a man’s car equate to his penis size?
Comedienne Sarah Silverman’s father tweets about life from Boca Raton, Florida. You can actually see where her sardonic sense of humor comes from, if you follow him on his RantsFromBoca Twitter. One of his recent tweets:
Boca rumor has it the bigger the car the smaller the penis. So why am I driving a Prius? Maybe it isn’t applicable if you are 73.
A Red Prius was a virtual joke-mobile for actors Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg playing farcical French Connection-esque cops in last year’s comedy film “The Other Guys”. The Red Prius took the brunt of “small” jokes intimating small penis humiliation.
And the Prius, perhaps due to its name, a five letter word that sounds like Penis, continues to be a target for small penis humiliation jokes, regardless of color. In this case, a small car is associated with having a small penis as if it is a mirror to small penis humiliation size. Prius? Small Penis!
I’ve also blogged about how men aka losers who try to overcompensate for lack of penis size by buying a big-ass SUV, super-sized pick-up truck or large luxury sedan, but not necessarily in the color known as “small penis” red. In this case, it’s: Big Car? Small Penis!
Emma Parker Bowles, a British expat and writer living in LA, and yes, niece of cuckoldress Camilla Parker Bowles, penned an interesting article in the The Sun, a UK news journal, about the same small penis humiliation topic. She opined that men with small penises seek out larger cars to compensate for their lack of penis size, but lamented she couldnt’ go around de-pantsing the big car drivers to prove her theory. Oh, if only! She also noted that Americans have an obsession about car size regardless of penis size and much more so than car owners in other countries. She felt that despite the new trend in the US toward driving smaller cars and hybrids, that Americans will typically seek out larger vehicles to drive. In America, she stated, “bigger is better” regardless of fuel costs or environmental impact.
Image c/o movie still from “The Other Guys”
Midlife Crisis or Small Penis Humiliation?
“You’re probably just having a midlife crisis,” Scarlett Johansson informed Bill Murray in the movie “Lost in Translation”. “Did you buy a Porsche yet?” Or should Scarlett have asked if he had bought a Red Porsche yet?
In most surveys conducted of male drivers, the most popular midlife crisis car is the Porsche and Red is the most popular color! Not that anyone needed a survey to deduce that information. There has to be something about the Red sportscar as midlife crisis signifier, in addition to women interpreting it as small penis humiliation on wheels.
But in an effort not to stereotype, can a Red sportscar signify other than midlife crisis symbol or small penis humiliation? Let’s explore some of the other reasons why men dare to buy a Red sportscar:
1. Success car, that such a luxury toy can be afforded. Showing off income on a spendy car. Adding the car to a collection.
2. Midlife crisis car, psychologically compensates for youth slipping away, but aging driver ends up looking ridiculous behind the wheel.
3. Trying to attract women, regardless of small or large penis size. Showy, flashy or colorful maneuvering is a biological trait of males in many species. “Hey, look at me!” Yeah, how could we miss your Red Porsche in the sea of SUVs?
3. Small penis humiliation car, which can also encompass Reasons #1, #2 and #3! Overcompensating for having a small penis, but overlooking that women immediately stereotype the driver of a Red sports car as having a small penis regardless of income or age.
Now here is a driver who I would say bought his Red Porsche for Reasons #1 thru #4. Successful, midlife crisis, flashy small penis humiliation!
Red Ferrari Small Penis Humiliation
Fallacy (or should I say Phallus-y): Buying an expensive Red sports car will increase the size of your small penis!
Fact: Buying an expensive Red sports car will increase girls’ knowledge of your small penis and therefore, your small penis humiliation!
One eBay UK “member” found out the “hard” way (hey, puns are just rolling off my keyboard) that a shiny fast Red Ferrari does not increase the size of a little dick and only adds to small penis humiliation, so much so, that he tried to auction it off on eBay.
Check out the 1984 Ferrari Testarossa depicted below. A classic Red Italian stallion featuring 385 horsepower, the Testarossa first debuted in 1984 and was named for the daughter of Ferrari’s founder who was a redhead. (Testarossa means redhead in Italian). Redheads are also considered good luck in Italy. In fact, Italians will touch someone’s red hair for luck. No luck was needed in the case of the Testarossa becoming an instant classic in the Ferrari line. However, the eBayer trying to part with his “red car small penis” Testarossa had no luck with his auction.
But when reviewing the eBay member’s auction history, to his small penis humiliation and embarrassment everyone could see what he last purchased: a Doc Johnson Titan Penis Enlargement Pump!
At least Doc Johnson added a caveat to the description of their Penis Enlargement Pump, unlike the Red Ferrari… The Doc Johnson Penis Enlargement Pump disclaimer detailed that some men declare the use of penis enlargement pumps as being effective tools for increasing size of their little “tools”. Others have reported that Penis Enlargement Pumps do not have any lasting effect on small penis size. It is acknowledged that penis pumpers can extend the length of their small dicks while using the pump, but have found their small penises will return to original small penis humiliation size after using the device.
The same caveat, it appears, could be applied to Ferraris…
Not only will a Red Ferrari not make a small penis bigger, it may also make it smaller! To all the girls who see any man driving it!
Image c/o eBay.co.uk
