Posts Tagged ‘Red Car’
The Bigger the Car, the Smaller You Are?
How much does the size choice of a man’s car equate to his penis size?
Comedienne Sarah Silverman’s father tweets about life from Boca Raton, Florida. You can actually see where her sardonic sense of humor comes from, if you follow him on his RantsFromBoca Twitter. One of his recent tweets:
Boca rumor has it the bigger the car the smaller the penis. So why am I driving a Prius? Maybe it isn’t applicable if you are 73.
A Red Prius was a virtual joke-mobile for actors Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg playing farcical French Connection-esque cops in last year’s comedy film “The Other Guys”. The Red Prius took the brunt of “small” jokes intimating small penis humiliation.
And the Prius, perhaps due to its name, a five letter word that sounds like Penis, continues to be a target for small penis humiliation jokes, regardless of color. In this case, a small car is associated with having a small penis as if it is a mirror to small penis humiliation size. Prius? Small Penis!
I’ve also blogged about how men aka losers who try to overcompensate for lack of penis size by buying a big-ass SUV, super-sized pick-up truck or large luxury sedan, but not necessarily in the color known as “small penis” red. In this case, it’s: Big Car? Small Penis!
Emma Parker Bowles, a British expat and writer living in LA, and yes, niece of cuckoldress Camilla Parker Bowles, penned an interesting article in the The Sun, a UK news journal, about the same small penis humiliation topic. She opined that men with small penises seek out larger cars to compensate for their lack of penis size, but lamented she couldnt’ go around de-pantsing the big car drivers to prove her theory. Oh, if only! She also noted that Americans have an obsession about car size regardless of penis size and much more so than car owners in other countries. She felt that despite the new trend in the US toward driving smaller cars and hybrids, that Americans will typically seek out larger vehicles to drive. In America, she stated, “bigger is better” regardless of fuel costs or environmental impact.
Image c/o movie still from “The Other Guys”
Midlife Crisis or Small Penis Humiliation?
“You’re probably just having a midlife crisis,” Scarlett Johansson informed Bill Murray in the movie “Lost in Translation”. “Did you buy a Porsche yet?” Or should Scarlett have asked if he had bought a Red Porsche yet?
In most surveys conducted of male drivers, the most popular midlife crisis car is the Porsche and Red is the most popular color! Not that anyone needed a survey to deduce that information. There has to be something about the Red sportscar as midlife crisis signifier, in addition to women interpreting it as small penis humiliation on wheels.
But in an effort not to stereotype, can a Red sportscar signify other than midlife crisis symbol or small penis humiliation? Let’s explore some of the other reasons why men dare to buy a Red sportscar:
1. Success car, that such a luxury toy can be afforded. Showing off income on a spendy car. Adding the car to a collection.
2. Midlife crisis car, psychologically compensates for youth slipping away, but aging driver ends up looking ridiculous behind the wheel.
3. Trying to attract women, regardless of small or large penis size. Showy, flashy or colorful maneuvering is a biological trait of males in many species. “Hey, look at me!” Yeah, how could we miss your Red Porsche in the sea of SUVs?
3. Small penis humiliation car, which can also encompass Reasons #1, #2 and #3! Overcompensating for having a small penis, but overlooking that women immediately stereotype the driver of a Red sports car as having a small penis regardless of income or age.
Now here is a driver who I would say bought his Red Porsche for Reasons #1 thru #4. Successful, midlife crisis, flashy small penis humiliation!
Red Ferrari Small Penis Humiliation
Fallacy (or should I say Phallus-y): Buying an expensive Red sports car will increase the size of your small penis!
Fact: Buying an expensive Red sports car will increase girls’ knowledge of your small penis and therefore, your small penis humiliation!
One eBay UK “member” found out the “hard” way (hey, puns are just rolling off my keyboard) that a shiny fast Red Ferrari does not increase the size of a little dick and only adds to small penis humiliation, so much so, that he tried to auction it off on eBay.
Check out the 1984 Ferrari Testarossa depicted below. A classic Red Italian stallion featuring 385 horsepower, the Testarossa first debuted in 1984 and was named for the daughter of Ferrari’s founder who was a redhead. (Testarossa means redhead in Italian). Redheads are also considered good luck in Italy. In fact, Italians will touch someone’s red hair for luck. No luck was needed in the case of the Testarossa becoming an instant classic in the Ferrari line. However, the eBayer trying to part with his “red car small penis” Testarossa had no luck with his auction.
But when reviewing the eBay member’s auction history, to his small penis humiliation and embarrassment everyone could see what he last purchased: a Doc Johnson Titan Penis Enlargement Pump!
At least Doc Johnson added a caveat to the description of their Penis Enlargement Pump, unlike the Red Ferrari… The Doc Johnson Penis Enlargement Pump disclaimer detailed that some men declare the use of penis enlargement pumps as being effective tools for increasing size of their little “tools”. Others have reported that Penis Enlargement Pumps do not have any lasting effect on small penis size. It is acknowledged that penis pumpers can extend the length of their small dicks while using the pump, but have found their small penises will return to original small penis humiliation size after using the device.
The same caveat, it appears, could be applied to Ferraris…
Not only will a Red Ferrari not make a small penis bigger, it may also make it smaller! To all the girls who see any man driving it!
Image c/o eBay.co.uk
Small Penis Size Car Colors
from peewee, UK blog correspondent…
Men’s car color choices either drive women wild or drive women away. A survey commissioned by a prominent UK auto insurance group found that the right color of a car was far more important than its shape or size for women. More than 50 percent of the respondents said they would try to get a closer look at a driver and would probably flirt with him if the color of his car caught their eye. Three-quarters of women said the color of a car was the key to their attitude toward a driver. (Are we leading up to Red Car? Small Penis! Read on…) Last but not least, one out of ten respondents admitted having a date with a man because the color of his car created a favorable impression on her.
Silver was the sexiest color for British women. Perhaps the color silver reminds them of a life full of glamor. Incidentally, silver cars are 50 percent less accident prone, according to official statistics on major traffic accidents.
Black came in second in the survey. The color is usually associated with wealth, security and comfort. In a popular pubic stereotype, big black cars are for mobsters or those in highest command. Needless to say, some ladies would not mind keeping company with members of either group.
Third was Red, the color of passion, speed, daredevilry and small penis humiliation. However, there was an age gap in those who preferred this color, only 18 – 19 year olds and women beyond their prime (over 40) fell for red. Red cars were a bleak preference for women at their sexual peak (20’s, 30’s). Perhaps these women know the inherent small penis humiliation that these drivers are advertising when they drive Red cars! Whereas desperate cougars will go for any racy fellow regardless of his humiliating small penis lack of endowment.
Men who drive green, gray or white cars had better have their vehicles painted otherwise if they want to score. According to the survey, green, gray or white cars do not have any sex appeal for women, for a variety of reasons. It is believed that men with a penchant for green will always be clumsy and awkward in their approach to sex. It is also thought that the color gray is preferred by those who are indecisive.
the only man, dead or alive, who women would lust after in a green car! ~Sara
Car Shows – for Small Penis Humiliation Losers?
I was signed up with a modeling agency in Miami for 7 years. But since I was not a serious model, not a tall willowy anorexic girl, not available when the agency snapped their fingers, not interested in working for free, I didn’t get many ‘bookings’. I learned to avoid the pimp / ho gig. This meant just because the models might be working ‘it’ for free, meaning to add ‘it’ to their portfolio, didn’t mean the agency wasn’t paid to procure them. I couldn’t stomach that type of exploitation. And this is often how it works for the scourge of the modeling scene here…car shows.
The agency tells you that you won’t be getting paid for the car show, but that you can charge $5 per photo that some pervert groper, small penis humiliation loser or sleazy slimeball pays to stand next to you and have his picture taken while he slides his hand onto your ass cheek and grabs a half moon. Well, the agency doesn’t go into such glorious detail, but you know the deal with the small penis humiliation losers who lust for ogling hot cars and hot girls to compensate for having small penises. While the modeling agency might be getting $5,000 to provide 50 girls to the 2 day show, you aren’t getting ‘paid’. The agency tells you that some girls make $100’s of dollars at these events. Hmmmm, show me the girl who does. I know, porn stars or has-been playmates! Yes, usually a not so famous porn star or two or the June 2002 Penthouse Pet will show up at these events, but they will not only be paid because their hustlers aka agents have pimped them out for marquis value, but they also get the best spot (hottest, raciest car) and make more $ posing with small penis humiliation losers, while their bodyguard monitors those roving hands. If I had wanted to collect $5 per grope from small dick losers, I’d have been working as a table dancer.
Now here is the epitome of car show modeling, European car shows! Look but don’t touch models! Models are getting paid? Or are they lured into it with promises that their pictures will appear in international media: “Darling it will be excellent exposure”. So they are sold into pose-slavery for nothing. I don’t know any Euro-girls to confirm or not. But let’s take a look at these models and the rides.
It would explain why the 2 models are hanging around a Red car with ‘remind me why am I here’ faces, but not explain why sporty model in red boots (I covet) is so happy about her Fiat 500c (I really covet)!
Images c/o autoblog.com
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