Posts Tagged ‘Orange is the New Red’
Small Penis Cars
There’s a fun new internet meme going around. Thanks to photo manipulation software and websites where anyone can upload a photo and play with various photo editing features, anyone can make their little dick look bigger, haha, no, that’s not where this Red Car Small Penis blog is going. The new meme sweeping the web is the Smart Car vs. Corvette, Smart Car vs. Maserati, Smart Car vs. Ferrari, etc. The Smart Car “memers” takes popular sports cars and shrink or compress the sports cars into Smart Car sizes like this:

and this:

Realistically, this is what chicks think of the tiny penis size of men driving a Corvette, Ferrari, Lamborghini or Maserati anyway, especially if the men are driving Red models like the Corvette above. And since we know Orange is the New Red, women would think the same thing of the small penis size of the driver of the orange Lamborghini Diablo, also above. I wonder if any of the car manufacturers will catch on and make Smart Car versions of their gas guzzling sports cars?
BMW already has. BMW is set to release a smaller Bimmer, no, not the mini-Cooper which has been out for years, but a smaller scaled down BMW sports sedan. Gas prices and energy consumption woes are (literally) driving auto makers around the world to scale down on car sizes and maximize gas mileage. So when a chick sees a photo of a guy driving a Corvette, Ferrari, Lamborghini or Maserati, she thinks the driver has a tiny cock regardless as to whether the photo has been Smart Car meme’d.
Small Penis Humiliation Video
In this hilarious Youtube short video, a Red Smart Car driven by a small person is dissed by an orange Lamborghini Diablo driven by a dickless dickhead. The Lambo driver features an actor who couldn’t have more well chosen to play the part of a macho asshole. The Lambo driver is obviously thinking Red Car Small Penis when he pulls up next to the Red Smart Car, let alone that the driver is a small person. Watch the Red Smart Car vs. Orange Lamborghini Diablo video for the sexy and ironic pay-off!
There is no amount of money (well maybe billions) that can compensate for having a small penis, so perhaps men with small penises buy expensive sports cars as consolation prizes. Then they console themselves by driving around, dissing drivers of less expensive smaller cars to make themselves feel more manly and making lame attempts to impress women. But women are only thinking “small penis”, if not also delivering small penis humiliation gestures or giggles when they see these small penis losers driving their expensive penis extensions on wheels.
While small penis losers can’t impress women due to their physical shortcomings (pun intended), they think they can impress them with their money and sports cars of choice, usually a Ferrari, Lamborghini, Porsche, Corvette or Maserati, to name the top small penis choices. And the most popular car colors for small penis losers, of course, are small penis humiliation Red, tiny cock humiliation orange and little dick humiliation yellow. Enjoy the video!
Orange is the New Red Small Penis Car!
I saw the flash of orange on Biscayne. Only caught a millisecond of a glance at the driver, but in that millisecond I vouched: small penis! Since Red and Yellow combine to make Orange, it makes complete sense that Orange is in the small penis humiliation car color range. As for the car, it was a Lambo. Specifically a Lamborghini Murcielago. And a large price tag to pay for a small penis — @$290K!

So, is Orange the new Red when it comes to flashy small penis humiliation wheels? Is Orange less common than Red and therefore even flashier and more of a statement to the effect: I May Have a Small Dick, but I Have a Lot of Cash?
But I nearly forgot, there are rental car companies that feature only exotic sportscars around Miami. If you’ve got the cash or credit limit on your credit card, why rent trash? Dream Cars of Miami will rent this Orange Lambo for $1,750 per day. So it may have been rental Viagra on wheels for a small penis dickster driver and definite small penis pinkie wave humiliation to drive around for the day.
Now on the West Coast, on an equally famous drive, PCH a/k/a Pacific Coast Highway, we have an Orange Maserati (photo submitted by a Red Car? Small Penis! blog reader). I don’t know my Maserati models, so perhaps a reader can I.D. this small penis humiliation model. But here is an Orange Maserati revving it up at a Red light for all girls to see and sneer: Small Penis! Or give the small penis sign to the driver! While the driver may have millions, driving this flashy Orange Maserati means only one more thing: Orange is the New Red!

Lambo photo c/o gothamdreamcars.com/miami
Maserati photo c/o private collection