Posts Tagged ‘Movie Red Car’

Ferris Bueller Car Crash Scene

In the classic 1980’s John Hughes film “Ferris Buellers Day Off”, Ferris Bueller’s best friend, Cameron, blasts his father for caring about his beloved 1961 Red Ferrari California more than his own son. Ferris, Cameron and Sloane (Ferris’ girlfriend) take a joyride in the Ferrari on the eponymous day off, tooting around Chicago. They return the Ferrari to the showroom garage in the modernist home, whereupon Cameron notes that their drive racked up 200 miles on the odometer. He knows this will make his father crazed. His father is anal retentive about the mileage on the Ferrari and it will be obvious that Cameron took the expensive collector car out for a drive. Higher mileage on the collector Ferrari California would decrease its value. Cameron and Ferris deduce a plan to run the Ferrari in reverse while lifted up with a jack to spin the odometer back. However, as everyone who has watched the film knows, the plan backfires. When Cameron is raving about his father’s obsession with his cars and how he should just stand up to his father and take responsibility for once, he accidentally knocks into the jack and the Ferrari rear wheels fall to the garage floor. Then the Ferrari skids right through the showroom garage plate glass window, crunching tree branches before landing in a ravine below. When the bough breaks, the Ferrari will fall…

A special replica of the 1961 Red Ferrari California was used for the Ferris Bueller Car Crash Scene, since it would have been too expensive to wreck a $350K Ferrari on the relatively small movie budget. Most likely no director, regardless of budget, would wreck a Ferrari when a cheaper replicar could be built and utilized for such a scene. Today’s value for that rare Red Ferrari California is over $10 million dollars which illustrates the value of older collector Ferraris. While there isn’t a relationship of the Red Ferrari to small penis humiliation in this film, the father’s obsession with the car and ultimate destruction of the car holds symbolic value. And while it is open to the audience to imagine what the humiliating confrontation will be like when Cameron’s father finds out the Ferrari has been destroyed, Cameron seems to feel relieved that he has done something so shocking to a car that his father loves, destroying this symbol of displaced parental affection.

Red Mustang vs. Red Jaguar – Small Penis POV

I watched the original of “The Mechanic” starring Charles Bronson and Jan Michael Vincent on Netflix, already aware of the brilliant scene featuring the fatal explosion of the Red Mustang at the end of the 1972 classic. Whereas in some films, Red cars are definitive small penis jokes, I never thought at any point in the movie that the Red Mustang held any symbolic meaning re: a small penis. Instead I interpreted that Red was the color of temptation, and this irresistible temptation to drive the souped up Red Mustang was what killed Jan Michael Vincent’s character. Would it have been as effective and believable a cinematic temptation had the Mustang been green (as in “Bullitt”), powder blue or gold? Unequivocally no. And the note Bronson left for Vincent, isn’t revenge the ultimate humiliation?

Humiliation Revenge Red Mustang Explodes in the Mechanic

Fast forward to 2011 and Jason Statham and Ben Foster are reprising the Bronson and Vincent roles in the adrenaline-injected remake. While some of Bronson’s die-hard fans found it sacrilegious to touch a Bronson classic, Hollywood couldn’t resist remaking a movie starring a hitman, a young protege, homoeroticism, guns, testosterone and explosions. All of the ingredients that a studio would topload into an action film to attract, as actress Helen Mirren has quipped about typical Hollywood fare, “small penis movie-goers.” Except in the remake, the Red Mustang has been replaced by a Jaguar Series II E-Type FHC (fixed head coupe). Again, the color is Red as no other color would symbolize the deathtrap or serve as a credible lure for the young Mechanic to drive away. However, unlike the Red Mustang, I do get a small penis vibe from the Red Jaguar, even hinted in the shape of the car itself.

I assume a twist to the original explosive finale could have been for the Jag engine to make a palpable stall then start and while the audience would be collectively holding their breath, waiting for Foster to find and read the humiliating note and anticipate the inevitable, the Red Jag could have not exploded. And that certainly would have left an opening for a sequel. Jason Statham, who I get a rather large penis vibe from, showed up at the The Mechanic movie premiere in a Red Jaguar Series II E-Type FHC to properly pimp the car and the film.

Small Penis Humiliation POV Car

But the “versus” issue in my blog title is, not which version of “The Mechanic” was better, as there is no question, and not so much a Red Car? Small Penis! issue, but I’m asking for your POV: which car was the superior Red temptation? I say the Red Mustang. What say you?

The Bigger the Car, the Smaller You Are?

How much does the size choice of a man’s car equate to his penis size?

Comedienne Sarah Silverman’s father tweets about life from Boca Raton, Florida. You can actually see where her sardonic sense of humor comes from, if you follow him on his RantsFromBoca Twitter. One of his recent tweets:

Boca rumor has it the bigger the car the smaller the penis. So why am I driving a Prius? Maybe it isn’t applicable if you are 73.

A Red Prius was a virtual joke-mobile for actors Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg playing farcical French Connection-esque cops in last year’s comedy film “The Other Guys”. The Red Prius took the brunt of “small” jokes intimating small penis humiliation.

Bigger Car Smaller Penis

And the Prius, perhaps due to its name, a five letter word that sounds like Penis, continues to be a target for small penis humiliation jokes, regardless of color. In this case, a small car is associated with having a small penis as if it is a mirror to small penis humiliation size. Prius? Small Penis!

I’ve also blogged about how men aka losers who try to overcompensate for lack of penis size by buying a big-ass SUV, super-sized pick-up truck or large luxury sedan, but not necessarily in the color known as “small penis” red. In this case, it’s: Big Car? Small Penis!

Emma Parker Bowles, a British expat and writer living in LA, and yes, niece of cuckoldress Camilla Parker Bowles, penned an interesting article in the The Sun, a UK news journal, about the same small penis humiliation topic. She opined that men with small penises seek out larger cars to compensate for their lack of penis size, but lamented she couldnt’ go around de-pantsing the big car drivers to prove her theory. Oh, if only! She also noted that Americans have an obsession about car size regardless of penis size and much more so than car owners in other countries. She felt that despite the new trend in the US toward driving smaller cars and hybrids, that Americans will typically seek out larger vehicles to drive. In America, she stated, “bigger is better” regardless of fuel costs or environmental impact.

Image c/o movie still from “The Other Guys”

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