Red Cars, Small Penis Humiliation
My Red Car Small Penis blog missed the small penis humiliation trifecta on this Red car find! However, with two out of three cars in “small penis” red, I would bet the owner of these three cars is well endowed with cash, but not so well endowed with penis size. At first, I thought these three sports cars were parked in a primo showroom garage. As it turns out, the garage is not an actual garage, but an art gallery which can park up to 30 collectible cars! Without a panoramic view of the art gallery garage, it’s hard to imagine the magnitude of a space 10 times the size depicted.
As for the cars, my Red Car Small Penis automotive expert identified a newer Red Ferrari, a classic Red Porsche coupe and an uber classic gull-wing door silver Mercedes roadster. It seems a shame to waste the newer Red Ferrari in a collector car garage, that sports car should be driven! If for no other reason than small penis humiliation! This art gallery collector car garage is located in Santa Barbara, California, in a renowned “architectural” house currently listed on the market for over 20 million dollars. Yes, you read that dollar figure right. Unlike the Malibu, California beach house, where the seller was using a free Red Ferrari as small penis humiliation buyer bait, none of these cars are being used to seduce a buyer with big cash, small penis.
photo c/o MLS.com
Red MINI, Mini Penis Humiliation!
A red BMW Mini Cooper was the prize in a recent German radio station contest where contestants pitched the most crazy and outrageous stunt they would do in order to win the car. And the winner was…Andreas Muller who committed to having the word MINI tattooed onto his penis! Red MINI, Mini Penis?
The German radio station manager didn’t miss an opportunity to deliver the zinger that Andreas “won by a head”. The actual tattooing was broadcast live on the radio station by a female disc jockey, the live broadcast even included Andreas’ screams of pain. Notice in the photo that Andreas had to be taped and bound to the tattoo parlor chair! The German media captured photos of the small penis humiliation event and the kleinschwanz news story hit the internet. Even Chelsea Handler, on her Chelsea Lately show, covered the small penis humiliation story and commented that no woman would want to do a guy who had the word MINI tattooed on his penis.
Andreas claims he’s going to be adding some tattoo flames to the MINI tattoo on his small penis to make it look like it’s in motion. What’s in motion? The MINI tattoo? His penis? Most likely his penis in motion in his hand!
When asked about the MINI penis tattoo pain, Andreas replied that once he was sitting in the Mini Cooper, the pain would disappear. Well, while we are laughing in small penis humiliation, Andreas is driving around in a Red BMW Mini Cooper worth $32,000. Perhaps Andreas is getting the last laugh as the humiliation and pain was worth it to win the Mini. Even if it meant thousands of people now know he has a MINI penis, that is, especially if he’s into small penis humiliation!
The Red Car Small Penis Humiliation Trifecta!
Not just one, not just two, but three expensive red collector sportscars? How small is this penis? One car per inch? A vintage red Aston Martin, Porsche and Ferrari collectively smell like small penis humiliation and imported carnauba wax! Parked in their very own no-expense-spared, impeccably designed and racing theme accessorized showroom garage with (likely Italian) marble tile floors…these small penises on Pirelli tires are probably only driven up and down the imported stone driveway. A SoCal friend noted the ocean blue license plates are old pre-1980 California tags probably dating back to the era of the Red small penis cars. Yes, this Red sportsar owner undoubtedly obsesses over such authentic details. These British and European sports cars are ultra primo small penis humiliation toys. And obviously kept hand waxed and buffed to perfection, hmmm do I detect Freudian vicarious small penis masturbation?
Unfortunately, unlike the Malibu ocean view villa I previously blogged about where the savvy owner dangled the free Red Ferrari to anyone who bought the property by a specific date, none of these small penis humiliation cars are part of the deal re: the impressive Northern California estate property replete with garage showroom currently on the market for over seven million dollars. It could be assumed that the owner is hoping to attract another wealthy car collector as the pimped out garage can fit not just three, but six small penis humiliation sports cars.
While this is the first time, Red Car? Small Penis! has hit the Small Penis Trifecta, I doubt it will be the last. Enjoy the Red Car Small Penis humiliation photos!
Is Yellow the New Small Penis Humiliation Car Color?
From the Red Car? Small Penis! eMailbag:
Sara, I love your small penis humiliation blog, and you do remind me of Sarah Silverman. Your sense of humor and I think she’s very sexy and attractive, too. I enjoyed your blog write-up about what Sarah Silverman’s father put on his Twitter about car size vs. penis size in Boca, now that was funny. And I totally agree about your theory that Orange is the new Red! But can I share with you my theory about yellow cars. I think there are some men with small penises who are “afraid” to buy Red cars. They feel it will mark them as having small penises, and bring them small penis humiliation, so they buy yellow sportscars instead. I am living proof. Walt
I just found your blog, you’re too much! I am addicted to reading auto blogs and your blog came up on a search. A girl writing a car blog, but it’s really about small penis humiliation, now that’s original! Here’s my picture. I have a small one in case you couldn’t guess. And I could have bought a Red Maserati, but I knew it would be like wearing a sign, hey I have a small pickle. I thought yellow, expensive and a powerful engine would command some respect on the street. Occasionally, girls giggle when they see me driving it and I’ve gotten the small penis humiliation salute (little pinkie wave as you call it), so I think they know. This is both humiliating and exciting. I like to drive around, just soaking it all up. Max
The Bigger the Car, the Smaller You Are?
How much does the size choice of a man’s car equate to his penis size?
Comedienne Sarah Silverman’s father tweets about life from Boca Raton, Florida. You can actually see where her sardonic sense of humor comes from, if you follow him on his RantsFromBoca Twitter. One of his recent tweets:
Boca rumor has it the bigger the car the smaller the penis. So why am I driving a Prius? Maybe it isn’t applicable if you are 73.
A Red Prius was a virtual joke-mobile for actors Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg playing farcical French Connection-esque cops in last year’s comedy film “The Other Guys”. The Red Prius took the brunt of “small” jokes intimating small penis humiliation.
And the Prius, perhaps due to its name, a five letter word that sounds like Penis, continues to be a target for small penis humiliation jokes, regardless of color. In this case, a small car is associated with having a small penis as if it is a mirror to small penis humiliation size. Prius? Small Penis!
I’ve also blogged about how men aka losers who try to overcompensate for lack of penis size by buying a big-ass SUV, super-sized pick-up truck or large luxury sedan, but not necessarily in the color known as “small penis” red. In this case, it’s: Big Car? Small Penis!
Emma Parker Bowles, a British expat and writer living in LA, and yes, niece of cuckoldress Camilla Parker Bowles, penned an interesting article in the The Sun, a UK news journal, about the same small penis humiliation topic. She opined that men with small penises seek out larger cars to compensate for their lack of penis size, but lamented she couldnt’ go around de-pantsing the big car drivers to prove her theory. Oh, if only! She also noted that Americans have an obsession about car size regardless of penis size and much more so than car owners in other countries. She felt that despite the new trend in the US toward driving smaller cars and hybrids, that Americans will typically seek out larger vehicles to drive. In America, she stated, “bigger is better” regardless of fuel costs or environmental impact.
Image c/o movie still from “The Other Guys”
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