Red Ferrari Knit-Pick
There was only one time in the history of my Red Car Small Penis blog that I wrote about a Red Ferrari without mentioning small penis humiliation. And the lone time I wrote about a Red Ferrari without small penis humiliation was??? My news story about the Ferrari Theme Park in the UAE. Nevertheless, you can’t drive this Red Ferrari, you can’t even sit in it or on it, but it’s still a Red Ferrari! Made of twelve miles of mostly red yarn, and nearly a year in the making, this Red Ferrari took longer to make than a factory Ferrari sports car! British art student, Lauren Porter, knit the car as an art project. Her Ferrari sports car art piece had been on exhibit in art galleries and auto shows in the UK and Europe for the past five years. Porter is now retiring it from exhibition and is selling her Red Ferrari knit-knack. And while Porter is hoping her unusual art project will find a home where many can enjoy the life-sized Red Ferrari, money talks! So if a private buyer wishes to buy her hand-knit Red Ferrari, the knit-wit will part with her art for the right price.
Will it be sold to a private buyer with a Red Ferrari sports car fetish who can’t afford the real thing? Will it be sold to a wealthy buyer with Red Car Small Penis syndrome who would like to put it in his man cave or media room as a conversation piece? Or add it to his car collection in his gallery garage as a Red Ferrari small penis humiliation folly? But in any case, the eventual buyer might suffer minor small penis humiliation in buying it, but at least the owner will never be seen driving it!
Red Car Small Penis Humiliation Situation ?
I wrote about the Small Penis Humiliation Situation on my Sara’s Playroom Small Penis Humilation blog. Melody Eckerson, a hot blonde picked up from a Miami nightclub by the Jersey Shore’s Mike Sorrentino, reported that Mike a/k/a The Situation has a “little situation”. Now there seems to be even more proof that The Situation has a “little situation”! He was recently seen test driving a brand new Ferrari F430 Spider coupe, sticker price around 200 large ($200,000). The Ferrari color? Red, of course! The Situation’s main ride is a tricked out black Bentley. The primo black Bentley isn’t a small penis on wheels, but if he does pick up the new Red Ferrari, this definitely would be a Red Car Small Penis situation!
In my opinion, the black Bentley is a big money statement, but not a small penis statement. So, what literally drives men with money and a small penis to buy a Red car? There are so many other color choices for sports cars that don’t spell small penis and that don’t draw small penis humiliation from women who see the Red sports car on the road and flash the SPH inky winkie pinkie wave. Perhaps it’s the totality of the attention that a Red Ferrari will bring, that everyone will notice it, both men and women, regardless of small penis humiliation. And perhaps a Red Ferrari has been the driver’s dream sports car acquisition. So the Red Ferrari driver ignores the small penis humiliation, because the rush from fulfilling a dream overrides SPH. Or the Red Ferrari driver might even secretly enjoy SPH as a form of attention.
photo courtesy of TMZ
Original Small Penis Humiliation Sports Car?
One of my blog readers wrote me after reading my blog post about the inception of Red Car Small Penis Humiliation and he feels he located the prime source! Magnum PI !
I had to consult 1980’s tv show experts, sources who shall go nameless here (wink), to see if they agreed with my reader’s theory about the inception of Red Car Small Penis Humiliation. One source told me that in the tv show, the Red Ferrari wasn’t even Magnum’s, rather that it belonged to some mysterious wealthy man who also owned the estate where Magnum hung out with a queer British butler dude. Shades of Batman and Alfred and the Batmobile anyone? Add a not quite so manly Robin-esque sidekick and a hot black dude (interracial overtones!) and you have a Hawaiian version of the gay Batman story. And I must add the implication that Magnum might have had a special relationship with the rich Hawaiian estate owner, who never appeared on the show according to another source, is a little gay. Look at it this way: Guys only let chicks drive their sports cars if there is either something sexual going on or if they hope there will be something sexual going on. So if a rich guy is letting some hot guy drive his expensive 1980 Red Ferrari 308 GTS, chances are there might be some homo-eroticized action inferred.
The only element this story is lacking is small penis humiliation. No one I spoke with felt that Magnum / Selleck had a small penis. I would have to agree in looking at Magnum PI photos, I’m getting a six to seven inch vibe.
So where did the Red Car Small Penis Humiliation come from? From viewers wanting to be as cool as Magnum! The male viewers had small penises, while the female viewers who didn’t pick up the gay scent, lusted for Magnum (or maybe even his hot black cohort). The small penis humiliation male viewers lusted for every element of the Magnum PI fantasy: being a heroic crime solver, coming to the rescue of damsels in distress, driving around in the Red Ferrari sports car, living in exotic Hawaii, having a butler, hanging out with two faithful sidekicks and looking as hot as Tom Selleck did in the 80’s. Perhaps Magnum PI started the lust for Red sports cars for men with small penises. And gave them a dose of vicarious small penis humiliation.
Small Penis Humiliation for Dummies
Ladies, have you been thinking about small penis humiliation, especially when you pull up at a traffic light next to some guy leering at you from his Red sports car? Well, you don’t need to think about small penis humiliation any longer. You need to take action and humiliate these small penis losers in their Red cars and put these dummies in their place. That is why I’ve developed a quick and easy guide right here on Red Car Small Penis called Small Penis Humiliation for Dummies.
When you spot a small penis loser in his red sports car, you should choose from the following:
1. Give him the small pinkie wave
2. Give him the loser L sign
3. Give him the small penis humiliation size sign (thumb and forefinger held close together)
4. Yell out “Red Car Small Penis!”
5. Get out your cell phone camera or digital camera and shoot a pic or two of the small penis driver and his Red car small penis ride and post it on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook or send it to me for my small penis humiliation blog
And just in case you are wondering if orange and yellow sports cars qualify for small penis humiliation, the answer is yes!
When Did Red Car Small Penis Humiliation Begin?
I’ve been researching the moment that Red Car Small Penis Humiliation began in the US…and I narrowed it down to one particular decade. I’ve been conducting unofficial research, querying women of different ages as to when they thought their perception of American men driving Red cars meant the drivers had small penises. And the answer? The Eighties!
However, let me preface that with…there was some movement toward small penis humiliation being related to driving a specific type of car when muscle cars came into prominence, but car color was not the factor. Merely driving around a muscle car with a souped up engine either attracted girls who were into the hot rod type cars and their macho drivers or it put off girls who thought the drivers were making up for lack of penis size in their pants with horsepower under the hood. However, the small penis driver perception wasn’t color driven at that point.
It seems that the Red Car Small Penis humiliation perception took hold in the Eighties. Several women who were in their twenties in that decade told me they definitely started thinking that guys driving around Red sports cars had small penises. I asked if there was any cultural defining moment that caused them to think Red Car Small Penis? A tv show, a song, a movie, anything? Alas, there didn’t seem to be anything specific as to how red car small penis humiliation came about in the USA.
The inception of small penis humiliation related to Red car drivers bears further research. I’d also be interested in hearing from any blog readers via comment or to my email as to why they think the Eighties was the decade when Red Car Small Penis humiliation became part of our culture.
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