“You’re probably just having a midlife crisis,” Scarlett Johansson informed Bill Murray in the movie “Lost in Translation”. “Did you buy a Porsche yet?” Or should Scarlett have asked if he had bought a Red Porsche yet?

In most surveys conducted of male drivers, the most popular midlife crisis car is the Porsche and Red is the most popular color! Not that anyone needed a survey to deduce that information. There has to be something about the Red sportscar as midlife crisis signifier, in addition to women interpreting it as small penis humiliation on wheels.

But in an effort not to stereotype, can a Red sportscar signify other than midlife crisis symbol or small penis humiliation? Let’s explore some of the other reasons why men dare to buy a Red sportscar:

1. Success car, that such a luxury toy can be afforded. Showing off income on a spendy car. Adding the car to a collection.

2. Midlife crisis car, psychologically compensates for youth slipping away, but aging driver ends up looking ridiculous behind the wheel.

3. Trying to attract women, regardless of small or large penis size. Showy, flashy or colorful maneuvering is a biological trait of males in many species. “Hey, look at me!” Yeah, how could we miss your Red Porsche in the sea of SUVs?

3. Small penis humiliation car, which can also encompass Reasons #1, #2 and #3! Overcompensating for having a small penis, but overlooking that women immediately stereotype the driver of a Red sports car as having a small penis regardless of income or age.

Now here is a driver who I would say bought his Red Porsche for Reasons #1 thru #4. Successful, midlife crisis, flashy small penis humiliation!