Posts Tagged ‘TV Red Car’

Red Car Porn

The first Cadillac ATS commercial I viewed on Youtube was filmed in a unique locale in China with select footage aerially shot by a red helicopter {gratuitous wink}. The series of four commercials which Cadillac produced to promote their trendy new sedan featured two 30-something dudes craving a red car porn rush. I could only think of three words: small penis humiliation. After viewing the Youtube clip, I wondered if these guys really thought it was that impressive to drive the red Cadillac ATS sports sedan through such a “tight” tunnel. Oh, the subliminal metaphor…

Cadillac spent a lot of money on these commercials to showcase their optional “magnetic ride control suspension”. Cadillac even goes so far as to tout the Cadillac ATS as “the world’s finest luxury compact sport sedan”. However, many aficionados of European luxury sport sedans such as BMWs and Mercedes would definitely disagree. Nevertheless, Cadillac engineers deserve some props for their magnetic ride control development as this adaptive suspension was later integrated by Ferrari and Lamborghini. Typically, American car engineers are behind the curve, not ahead of it. However, the casting of the 30-something adrenaline junkie douches in a series of racy commercials, most likely a marketing ploy to reach that particular male buyer demographic, seems a little desperate, even though the locales of the commercials are beautifully breathtaking. And to be honest, if any guys go out and buy a red Cadillac sedan after watching any of these car porn commercials and attempt to drive their red Caddies like sporty BMWs to impress chicks, well, that will only be met with small penis humiliation.

Small Penis Humiliation Addiction

Small Penis Humiliation Addiction can take many different forms. But in this case of SPH addiction, it’s “auto-eroticism” and Red Car obsession. This subject of addiction and obsession professes his love for Chase and kisses Chase, the only thing is: Chase isn’t his boyfriend. Chase is his car. Specifically, a Red 1998 Monte Carlo. He is compelled to stare at Chase during the day on his work computer’s screensaver and he also sleeps with a little toy red car named Dylan every night. It’s one thing to drive a red car, but it’s another thing to love, as in really love a red car. Objectophilia, loving an object, is a strange fetish, obsession and addiction. And since his car is named after a dude, it seems like displaced gay affection.

Imagine the small penis humiliation this red car small penis owner now experiences since he and his car were featured on TLC’s “My Strange Addiction”. Girls have to be freaked about a guy who gets “intimate” with his car.

Red Car Humiliation

On a new Spike TV reality show, Repo Games, contestants vie to win their repo’d car back if they can answer successive trivia questions correctly. If they win, Repo Games pays to get their car out of the repo lot. If they don’t, the contestants are even more humiliated than already having had their car repossessed for falling behind on car payments. Public humiliation is one of the fiercest forms of humiliation, being humiliated on tv in front of millions of viewers is devastating.

Red Car Humiliation

Repo Games producers came up with a winning reality tv show formula combining a trivia game show with more on the line than winning cash or prizes. The show goes on location to the actual repo lots where the contestants must answer trivia questions under pressure to win back their cars. In the case of one contestant, a Red sports car owner who had already suffered the humiliation of losing his Red car to the repo man, losing at the trivia game and losing his Red car forever was more than he could bear. Caught on tape was his angry response as he picked up a large rock and smashed his Red car’s windshield, most likely adding more monetary injury to insult as the creditor may hold him responsible for the damages. Humiliating!

photo of video screen cap c/o TMZ

Original Small Penis Humiliation Sports Car?

One of my blog readers wrote me after reading my blog post about the inception of Red Car Small Penis Humiliation and he feels he located the prime source! Magnum PI !

Small Penis Humiliation Red Ferrari Magnum PI

I had to consult 1980’s tv show experts, sources who shall go nameless here (wink), to see if they agreed with my reader’s theory about the inception of Red Car Small Penis Humiliation. One source told me that in the tv show, the Red Ferrari wasn’t even Magnum’s, rather that it belonged to some mysterious wealthy man who also owned the estate where Magnum hung out with a queer British butler dude. Shades of Batman and Alfred and the Batmobile anyone? Add a not quite so manly Robin-esque sidekick and a hot black dude (interracial overtones!) and you have a Hawaiian version of the gay Batman story. And I must add the implication that Magnum might have had a special relationship with the rich Hawaiian estate owner, who never appeared on the show according to another source, is a little gay. Look at it this way: Guys only let chicks drive their sports cars if there is either something sexual going on or if they hope there will be something sexual going on. So if a rich guy is letting some hot guy drive his expensive 1980 Red Ferrari 308 GTS, chances are there might be some homo-eroticized action inferred.

The only element this story is lacking is small penis humiliation. No one I spoke with felt that Magnum / Selleck had a small penis. I would have to agree in looking at Magnum PI photos, I’m getting a six to seven inch vibe.

So where did the Red Car Small Penis Humiliation come from? From viewers wanting to be as cool as Magnum! The male viewers had small penises, while the female viewers who didn’t pick up the gay scent, lusted for Magnum (or maybe even his hot black cohort). The small penis humiliation male viewers lusted for every element of the Magnum PI fantasy: being a heroic crime solver, coming to the rescue of damsels in distress, driving around in the Red Ferrari sports car, living in exotic Hawaii, having a butler, hanging out with two faithful sidekicks and looking as hot as Tom Selleck did in the 80’s. Perhaps Magnum PI started the lust for Red sports cars for men with small penises. And gave them a dose of vicarious small penis humiliation.

small penis humiliation

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