Posts Tagged ‘Red Mustang’

Mitt Romney Cars

When Red Car Small Penis blogged about the Romney Girl video in August, we pointed out that the Red Mustang in the video intimated that Mitt had a small penis. Now, it turns out that Mitt actually owns a 2005 Ford Mustang mentioned on several popular blogs as a Red convertible. Red is the color of the Republic party after all. So, Romney Girl accurately depicted the Mitt Romney Red Mustang in her political parody video. Gasp at the small penis humiliation! Let’s continue and …

Mitt Romney Red Cars

… well, let’s give Mitt an iota of cred for owning American cars before we move into more small penis humiliation. Mitt’s American car fetish most likely takes root in his father having been CEO of the now defunct American Motors Corporation. Mitt and his wife, Ann, own the following vehicles: two Cadillacs which Ann drives, one Chevy Silverado pickup truck and one aforementioned Ford Mustang which Mitt drives. Mitt also owns a collector car, a 1963 Rambler Classic manufactured by AMC. Owning this car is most likely a reflection of the nostalgia Mitt feels for the vehicle that his father promoted while running AMC from 1954 through 1962. In another nostalgic gesture, Mitt expressed his desire to buy a sporty red vintage AMC Nash at a car show. Of course, this desire may also be due to Mitt’s small penis size, but Mitt decided against buying this rare classic auto because he felt the $10K price was a little steep for the 1955 Nash Metropolitan depicted in the photo below.

Mitt tried to buy 1955 Nash Metropolitan but 10K was too high

Midlife Crisis Car?

Update: We received an email at that the Red Mustang convertible which Mitt drives was a birthday gift from Ann to Mitt in 2005. Could the Red Mustang still be a small penis humiliation mobile? Ann would certainly know… Or was this a midlife crisis car birthday gift? A symbol of the Republican party? Or all of the above?

Barack Obama Blue Mustang

And was this photo of Barack Obama at an auto show earlier in the year, which a reader sent in, where the President checked out a blue Mustang Shelby GT (600 horsepower), an homage to the Democratic party color and a cock block of Mitt’s Republican Red Mustang?

Barack Obama Blue Mustang

Mitt Romney Red Car Video

In this clever political satire video by Romney Girl (check her out at, the hot blond Romney Girl dresses as the Swiss Miss (a little homage to Mitt’s Swiss bank accounts) while singing along to Aqua’s “Barbie Girl” melody. Romney Girl has penned witty and sarcastic new lyrics to the Aqua tune, bashing Mitt for his bourgeois lifestyle, hiding his millions in overseas bank accounts, going “taxless”, silver tipping his hair and more. In the opening of the video, she skips up to Mitt in his Red Mustang and asks him “do you have something to hide” which in addition to the money he has stashed in offshore accounts and the tax returns he won’t reveal, could Romney Girl be hinting at: Mitt is also hiding a small penis! Why else would she have artfully placed the Mitt Romney lookalike in a Red sports car unless… Mitt Romney Red Car Small Penis!

Mitt and the Swiss Miss Barbie Girl ride around in New York City and various high faluting or fellating places like a mansion with bubbling spa, champagne that popped its foamy money shot and a yacht club. Supposedly Mitt owns a Red Mustang convertible, a midlife crisis birthday gift from his wife! Check out my new favorite small penis humiliation video, Romney Girl, on Youtube. Oops, it seems that Universal Music Group didn’t enjoy the parody of Aqua’s “Barbie Girl” that Romney Girl used in her video and so the evil corporate magnates (Republicans?) requested that Youtube take down the video.

from a Red Car Small Penis blog reader: yes you are right, it’s New York City. the bank is Chase Bank, where you see the flag flying across the building with pillars is the New York Stock Exchange, the bull is a symbol of the bull market for Wall Street and I’m pretty sure where the boats are moored is Chelsea Piers…

Red Mustang vs. Red Jaguar – Small Penis POV

I watched the original of “The Mechanic” starring Charles Bronson and Jan Michael Vincent on Netflix, already aware of the brilliant scene featuring the fatal explosion of the Red Mustang at the end of the 1972 classic. Whereas in some films, Red cars are definitive small penis jokes, I never thought at any point in the movie that the Red Mustang held any symbolic meaning re: a small penis. Instead I interpreted that Red was the color of temptation, and this irresistible temptation to drive the souped up Red Mustang was what killed Jan Michael Vincent’s character. Would it have been as effective and believable a cinematic temptation had the Mustang been green (as in “Bullitt”), powder blue or gold? Unequivocally no. And the note Bronson left for Vincent, isn’t revenge the ultimate humiliation?

Humiliation Revenge Red Mustang Explodes in the Mechanic

Fast forward to 2011 and Jason Statham and Ben Foster are reprising the Bronson and Vincent roles in the adrenaline-injected remake. While some of Bronson’s die-hard fans found it sacrilegious to touch a Bronson classic, Hollywood couldn’t resist remaking a movie starring a hitman, a young protege, homoeroticism, guns, testosterone and explosions. All of the ingredients that a studio would topload into an action film to attract, as actress Helen Mirren has quipped about typical Hollywood fare, “small penis movie-goers.” Except in the remake, the Red Mustang has been replaced by a Jaguar Series II E-Type FHC (fixed head coupe). Again, the color is Red as no other color would symbolize the deathtrap or serve as a credible lure for the young Mechanic to drive away. However, unlike the Red Mustang, I do get a small penis vibe from the Red Jaguar, even hinted in the shape of the car itself.

I assume a twist to the original explosive finale could have been for the Jag engine to make a palpable stall then start and while the audience would be collectively holding their breath, waiting for Foster to find and read the humiliating note and anticipate the inevitable, the Red Jag could have not exploded. And that certainly would have left an opening for a sequel. Jason Statham, who I get a rather large penis vibe from, showed up at the The Mechanic movie premiere in a Red Jaguar Series II E-Type FHC to properly pimp the car and the film.

Small Penis Humiliation POV Car

But the “versus” issue in my blog title is, not which version of “The Mechanic” was better, as there is no question, and not so much a Red Car? Small Penis! issue, but I’m asking for your POV: which car was the superior Red temptation? I say the Red Mustang. What say you?

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