Posts Tagged ‘Red Ferrari Enzo’
Rod’s Little Rod and Red Hot Rod
There is no shortage of famous celebs riding around in fiery red sports cars revealing more about themselves than they realize. This blog has been documenting the relationship between driving a red car and having a small penis for years. Famous crooner Rod Stewart is no exception to the small penis humiliation rule. Rod recently confessed that his “little rod” was made even smaller by taking steroids to combat inflammation of his vocal cords during early concert touring days.
Most men who fantasize about becoming famous rock stars want to get filthy rich as well as bed a bevy of beautiful women. While Rod was getting rich, his rod was being shriveled due to steroid use. Instead of hiding in shame, he publicly advertised to the world he had a small penis by motoring around in his Red Ferrari Enzo, years before he revealed his small penis humiliation! Rod’s little rod and red hot rod belong together! Everyone knows that cruising in a red car is signaling to the world you have a small penis! Talk about total small penis humiliation. Rod claimed that steroids reduce the swelling in any membrane, not just the vocal cords, but also the “membrane” in a guy’s pants. Cue PSA for the biggest reason not to take steroids.
This peen shrinkage news becomes more timely with all the steroid talk in the baseball world making it easy to identify which players are sporting small packages due to ‘roid abuse. Players on MLB’s steroids list are not only going to be publicly humiliated by being suspended, but also sports fans will know each of those players shrunk their peens in order to play ball and get filthy rich. Poor ARod and Ryan Braun are now clearly among the league’s smallest endowed players. Oddly enough, neither drive red sports cars. Yet.
Rod’s Red Hot Rod at a British car show
Rich Kids Red Cars
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Rich Kids of Instagram Blog
The Tumblr blog Rich Kids of Instagram highlights the debauchery and excess of the spawn of the uber wealthy 1% `ers, featuring hashtags including Arm Candy (in this case, expensive designer bracelets and spendy watches) to Bottles and Models (extreme partying with ultra luxe bottles of champagne while accompanied by hot models) and of course, Toys… helicopters, private jets, yachts and sports cars. The most featured sports car color is Red, with Ferraris and Lamborghinis being the most popular makes, followed by Porsches, Bentleys and Aston Martins.
Status Symbol Cars
Since these cars are status symbol toys, the Red sports car color is all about flash and standing out, not about psychological Red Car Small Penis compensation. These pricey toys are often purchased by Dads as gifts to their Rich Kids or paid for by the rich progeny themselves from trust fund proceeds. The rich Dads of the RKOI will often boast flashy sports cars or collector cars in a showroom garage as revealed in Rich Kids of Instagram pics. And yes, within the collection is stereotypically a Red sports car or two. Even the Rich Girls have Red cars or pink(!) cars, a pepto bismol pink Bentley, a custom pink Dune Buggy… Perhaps RKOI will spin off new blogs titled: Rich Kids Red Cars or Rich Girls Pink Cars.
photos c/o RKOI
Red Ferrari Crash
Six years ago Swedish gangster Bo Stefan Eriksson claimed the million dollar Red Ferrari Enzo that crashed and split in half on Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu had been driven by a mysterious German driver he dubbed “Dietrich”. In this cinema stunt-worthy crash, the gangsta from Svenska also claimed he was just the passenger. After the Red Ferrari crash, Eriksson suffered the humiliation of being booked on multiple charges including illegal gun possession and two counts of embezzlement related to his sketchy dealings with exotic cars. Eriksson pleaded no contest to the charges and was sentenced to three years in the klink. Eriksson should have truly considered himself lucky as he could have been killed, instead, he walked away from the spectacular 120 mph high speed crash, attesting to the quality of the Ferrari’s design safety. The Red Ferrari, shown in the photo, was literally sheared in half as if cut by a cake knife.
Flash forward now six years later. The police chose not to engage a speeding driver of a Mercedes in Beverly Hills for traffic safety reasons, but the 5-0 located him later. As it turned out, this was the mysterious “Dietrich”, only his real name is Trevor Karney. Ironically, Karney claims to have been the passenger in the original Red Ferrari smash-up. Two passengers, one Ferrari. What, no driver? Karney has no fixed address, but states he lives on a boat in Marina del Rey. Shades of Sonny Crockett and Miami Vice, chez California. But Crockett primarily drove a white 1986 Ferrari Testarossa. And now to continue with the cake knife metaphor, a cake that commemorated the crash, complete with a bottle of Absolut. Let them eat a Red Ferrari Enzo cake, but wash it down with some Swedish vodka!
