Multimillion Dollar Red Ferrari Garage
This multimillion dollar Red Ferrari garage is valued greater than the Chicago Lake Shore Drive high rise apartment the garage is being sold with! Shocker! The seller is asking $3.4 million for the apartment and garage or a mere $2.1 million if a big spender only wants to snag the spacious subterranean garage. The garage is a 2,700 square foot man cave featuring red floors, red Italian leather sofas and seating plus a full bar decorated in auto racing motif. This is one of the largest collections of car porn aside from famous car enthusiast, Jay Leno. And, no, the real estate price doesn’t include the twenty sport cars including Red Ferraris, Porsches or the Austin Healy. It will be interesting to see if this property sells in entirety or if only the one bedroom apartment sells. The likelihood of finding a buyer for the underground garage as a solo real estate purchase in Chicago’s urban lakeside does not seem promising.
The luxurious 67th floor penthouse apartment boasts stellar views of Lake Michigan and the Chicago skyline which along with the car collector garage make this a truly unique piece of Chicago real estate for the “right” buyer. Typically, showroom style garages are custom designed for auto aficionados on large estate properties and are not practical for urban dwellings without the space for a private garage. The owner of this unusual luxe property is a car collector and also a former race car driver who still dabbles in road rallies. The collection of twenty European sports cars, many valued at over a million dollars each, are showcased as if they are in a renowned auto museum. Even the wealthy real estate owner and car connoisseur stated in an interview for ChicagoBusiness.com that the sports cars he collects are “rolling works of art”.
Tiny Car Tiny Price Tag Tiny Penis
Tiny Tata Nano car coming to the U.S.
Are men really oblivious to the signals they send out to the world, especially signals sensitive to women? It’s becoming common knowledge that driving around in a red car is the equivalent of getting a highway billboard ad announcing: “Hey, my penis is the size of an iPod Nano!” Recently, an India-based car company, Tata, announced to the world that they want to start selling the Nano in the U.S. Yes, Apple, this Nano is a car. And this pocket-sized car will tentatively retail at only $3,000, thousands less than the disastrous deep discount Yugo which was previously blogged about here at Red Car Small Penis.
Tiny Car Tiny Penis
How much do you Red Car Small Penis blog readers want to bet some men won’t be able to wait for the humiliation of driving around in this micro sized car? The message a man will be sending to the world is that his micro-car is being driven by a mini-man where it counts. And not only that, but everyone will also know that a man’s bank account is tiny if he’s driving around in a car which costs two-thirds less than the cheapest car on the U.S. auto market today. What could be more humiliating than driving one of these Tata Nanos and seeing a bunch of pretty girls pointing and laughing!!! One thing is for sure, if any man buys this Indian Tata Nano car, it doesn’t even need to be red for them to experience small penis humiliation! Obviously, a case of Tiny Car Tiny Price Tag Tiny Penis!
Rich Kids Red Cars
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Rich Kids of Instagram Blog
The Tumblr blog Rich Kids of Instagram highlights the debauchery and excess of the spawn of the uber wealthy 1% `ers, featuring hashtags including Arm Candy (in this case, expensive designer bracelets and spendy watches) to Bottles and Models (extreme partying with ultra luxe bottles of champagne while accompanied by hot models) and of course, Toys… helicopters, private jets, yachts and sports cars. The most featured sports car color is Red, with Ferraris and Lamborghinis being the most popular makes, followed by Porsches, Bentleys and Aston Martins.
Status Symbol Cars
Since these cars are status symbol toys, the Red sports car color is all about flash and standing out, not about psychological Red Car Small Penis compensation. These pricey toys are often purchased by Dads as gifts to their Rich Kids or paid for by the rich progeny themselves from trust fund proceeds. The rich Dads of the RKOI will often boast flashy sports cars or collector cars in a showroom garage as revealed in Rich Kids of Instagram pics. And yes, within the collection is stereotypically a Red sports car or two. Even the Rich Girls have Red cars or pink(!) cars, a pepto bismol pink Bentley, a custom pink Dune Buggy… Perhaps RKOI will spin off new blogs titled: Rich Kids Red Cars or Rich Girls Pink Cars.
photos c/o RKOI
Mitt Romney Cars
When Red Car Small Penis blogged about the Romney Girl video in August, we pointed out that the Red Mustang in the video intimated that Mitt had a small penis. Now, it turns out that Mitt actually owns a 2005 Ford Mustang mentioned on several popular blogs as a Red convertible. Red is the color of the Republic party after all. So, Romney Girl accurately depicted the Mitt Romney Red Mustang in her political parody video. Gasp at the small penis humiliation! Let’s continue and …
Mitt Romney Red Cars
… well, let’s give Mitt an iota of cred for owning American cars before we move into more small penis humiliation. Mitt’s American car fetish most likely takes root in his father having been CEO of the now defunct American Motors Corporation. Mitt and his wife, Ann, own the following vehicles: two Cadillacs which Ann drives, one Chevy Silverado pickup truck and one aforementioned Ford Mustang which Mitt drives. Mitt also owns a collector car, a 1963 Rambler Classic manufactured by AMC. Owning this car is most likely a reflection of the nostalgia Mitt feels for the vehicle that his father promoted while running AMC from 1954 through 1962. In another nostalgic gesture, Mitt expressed his desire to buy a sporty red vintage AMC Nash at a car show. Of course, this desire may also be due to Mitt’s small penis size, but Mitt decided against buying this rare classic auto because he felt the $10K price was a little steep for the 1955 Nash Metropolitan depicted in the photo below.
Midlife Crisis Car?
Update: We received an email at RedCarSmallPenis.com that the Red Mustang convertible which Mitt drives was a birthday gift from Ann to Mitt in 2005. Could the Red Mustang still be a small penis humiliation mobile? Ann would certainly know… Or was this a midlife crisis car birthday gift? A symbol of the Republican party? Or all of the above?
Barack Obama Blue Mustang
And was this photo of Barack Obama at an auto show earlier in the year, which a RedCarSmallPenis.com reader sent in, where the President checked out a blue Mustang Shelby GT (600 horsepower), an homage to the Democratic party color and a cock block of Mitt’s Republican Red Mustang?
Birds Poop on Red Cars
Apparently, it’s not humiliating enough to be a man with a small penis driving a red car. According to a new study from the UK, birds poop on red cars more than any other color car. The birds poop on Red cars study wasn’t able to conclusively pinpoint why birds seem to target Red cars more frequently than cars of other colors. The study suggested a few theories, but failed to touch on the one that is quite obvious to me. These instinctive creatures apparently know exactly what women have known for years – that men who drive Red cars have a small penis and need to suffer the humiliation associated with having such an inadequate appendage!!! Bird droppings = small penis humiliation. Park your Red car at the beach and the seagulls will assault your car and make girls laugh even more about your tiny dick or throw you the small dick humiliation pinkie salute when they see you getting into your Red car with the customized polka dotted paint job.
So… not only do short dicked men receive small penis humiliation from girls for driving their Red cars around, but also these men have to contend with the humiliation of birds pooping on their rides more than any other color car!!!
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