Red Lamborghini : Small Penis Humiliation –> Large Tax Write-off
This Red Lamborghini is “pimping the mix” as trendy club deejays say, but a different kind of mix, Readymix, as in concrete. Since the Miami, Florida building bust, I’m sure Readymix Concrete isn’t busy pouring their mix, but obviously the CEO is out pimping the mix and his small penis humiliation ride, a Red Lamborghini.
It’s not unusual for a wealthy CEO to be driving around Miami Beach, showing off his Red Car Small Penis, except in this case, he’s emblazoned his small penis humiliation Italian sports car with a bumper sticker that advertises his company.
Question: Why ruin an expensive Red Lamborghini with a cheesy yellow and green bumper sticker on the side door?
Answer: Small Penis, Large Tax Write-off!
In this case, I suspect pimping the Readymix means the Red Lamborghini is considered a company car tax write-off. Not only small penis humiliation, but also public humiliation to have the pricey Red Lamborghini defaced by a tacky bumper sticker, even if it means saving tax bucks. I bet Mr. Readymix’s accountant told him to slap on a bumper sticker with the company name as proof in case the tax man were to unexpectedly show up, suspicious that Mr. Readymix is trying to get something past Uncle Sam. So the tacky bumper sticker beats a tax audit, but driving a Red Lamborghini does not trump small penis humiliation!
Red Mustang vs. Red Jaguar – Small Penis POV
I watched the original of “The Mechanic” starring Charles Bronson and Jan Michael Vincent on Netflix, already aware of the brilliant scene featuring the fatal explosion of the Red Mustang at the end of the 1972 classic. Whereas in some films, Red cars are definitive small penis jokes, I never thought at any point in the movie that the Red Mustang held any symbolic meaning re: a small penis. Instead I interpreted that Red was the color of temptation, and this irresistible temptation to drive the souped up Red Mustang was what killed Jan Michael Vincent’s character. Would it have been as effective and believable a cinematic temptation had the Mustang been green (as in “Bullitt”), powder blue or gold? Unequivocally no. And the note Bronson left for Vincent, isn’t revenge the ultimate humiliation?
Fast forward to 2011 and Jason Statham and Ben Foster are reprising the Bronson and Vincent roles in the adrenaline-injected remake. While some of Bronson’s die-hard fans found it sacrilegious to touch a Bronson classic, Hollywood couldn’t resist remaking a movie starring a hitman, a young protege, homoeroticism, guns, testosterone and explosions. All of the ingredients that a studio would topload into an action film to attract, as actress Helen Mirren has quipped about typical Hollywood fare, “small penis movie-goers.” Except in the remake, the Red Mustang has been replaced by a Jaguar Series II E-Type FHC (fixed head coupe). Again, the color is Red as no other color would symbolize the deathtrap or serve as a credible lure for the young Mechanic to drive away. However, unlike the Red Mustang, I do get a small penis vibe from the Red Jaguar, even hinted in the shape of the car itself.
I assume a twist to the original explosive finale could have been for the Jag engine to make a palpable stall then start and while the audience would be collectively holding their breath, waiting for Foster to find and read the humiliating note and anticipate the inevitable, the Red Jag could have not exploded. And that certainly would have left an opening for a sequel. Jason Statham, who I get a rather large penis vibe from, showed up at the The Mechanic movie premiere in a Red Jaguar Series II E-Type FHC to properly pimp the car and the film.
But the “versus” issue in my blog title is, not which version of “The Mechanic” was better, as there is no question, and not so much a Red Car? Small Penis! issue, but I’m asking for your POV: which car was the superior Red temptation? I say the Red Mustang. What say you?
Small Penis Compensation Vehicles!
Small Penis Compensation Vehicles also known as SPCV’s are not just cars, but motorcycles, pick-up trucks, SUVs, boats, jet skis, anything big or flashy or fast that will compensate for their owners having small penises. And the most popular color for SPCV’s? Red, of course!
Don’t men who buy red Small Penis Compensation Vehicles realize that women automatically think “small penis” and even more so “small penis humiliation” when they spot an SPCV? Still, that doesn’t seem to stop men with small penises from buying Red SPCV’s. Figuring there must be a reason why Red is the go-to color for SPCV’s, I personally queried several Red Car Small Penis owners why they had purchased Red sports cars. The most common response was: they wanted a Red car, because it excited them! And when I advised them that women only think one thing when they see a man driving a Red car, the most common response was: at least they’d be noticed… Hmmm, so tiny cock losers driving blue or white or black cars, assume they will not be noticed and will just blend in with traffic. Tiny cock losers don’t mind inviting the attention and small penis humiliation that owning a Red sports car entails, because women will “notice them”. This goes back to the basic psychological premise that “negative attention” is better than no attention at all. Ergo, small penis humiliation is better than no attention at all to a Small Penis Compensation Vehicle owner!
Fiery Red Ferraris – Shame – Humiliation!
Imagine the shame and humiliation! Your $230,000 Ferrari Italia catches on fire driving down the road. You’re lucky to get out of the vehicle before your sportscar turns into a complete inferno. At first, it was a mystery as to why 2010 Ferrari Italia 458 models were combusting. Reports were coming in from Italy, France, America, China, Switzerland; just to name a few of the countries where the Ferrari sportscars had spontaneously burst into flames. It didn’t take long for Ferrari to recall the Italia models and determine the problem was due to an adhesive that affixed engine heat shields. The adhesive turned out to be flammable at high temperatures. Ferrari engineering solved the problem by directing dealers to install new heat shields sealed with rivets instead.
Ferrari was extremely honorable in dealing with the humiliated Italia owners whose small-penis-on-wheels had caught fire and burned. Most drivers and passengers luckily escaped without injury, except humiliation, of course. Ferrari replaced the vehicles at no cost to the fast, furious and humiliated owners.
One owner actually shared his humiliating story about his “fiery” Red Ferrari. Initially, he didn’t realize his Ferrari was ablaze. He just felt his seat was hot! Then other drivers tried to alert to him by honking their horns and pointing at his flaming car. Perhaps he thought they were gesturing he had a small penis. You know Red Ferrari owners are especially used to small penis humiliation. Soon he realized the hot seat and the cacophony of horns wasn’t due to Red Car Small Penis humiliation, but fire!
Ferrari Measuring Small Penis Size? Humiliating!
If I were in the market for an expensive Italian small penis humiliation Red sportscar, I doubt I’d want the car to react to my driving and make adjustments based on my biometrics, unless it was to alert me that I was falling asleep at the wheel. Other than warning me of impending shut-eye, I’d want to drive, baby, drive! And that seems to be the consensus of most sportscar drivers who reacted to the news of Ferrari’s design plans for a “mind-reading” car.
At some point in the future, Ferraris will come equipped with biometric measuring systems that will monitor heartbeat, respiration, blood pressure, eye blink rate (for alertness), and will automatically make adjustments to the car’s performance and stability controls based on those readings. The impetus behind the system isn’t only to wake up sleepy drivers, but also to counteract aggressive, hyper-excited drivers. However, just how the Ferraris will react wasn’t revealed. Is a Ferrari going to react to the aggressive driver thru the interactive system to slow the car down to 25 mph? Or will a female autobot voice alert come on and say: Your driving is reckless, please slow down and drive safely. Or better yet, the female autobot voice could say to the driver: Because I have detected you have a small penis, you have the psychological need to drive in an aggressive manner to compensate for your small penis size. There’s nothing you can do about your small penis, but there is something you can do about your reckless driving, slow down! Now that would be some on-board small penis humiliation for Ferrari owners. Perhaps new Ferraris should come equipped with another biometric feature, wouldn’t it be humiliating if the system included the ability to measure small penis size!
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