Posts Tagged ‘Lamborghini’

Chris Brown Car Collection 2014

Chris Brown Red Bugatti Veyron

Girls kinda know that guys never grow up. Consider the epic saying about the only difference between men and boys is the size and price of their toys. In this case, scofflaw rapper Chris Brown proves it with a Hot Wheels inspired custom paint job on a Lamborghini. Since Rihanna used to be involved with him and she is a Size Queen known for despising little dicks, it can be deduced that Chris Brown is well hung. Therefore, Red Car Small Penis does not apply to Chris. He’s known for being a dick of a different kind, but obviously a fairly wealthy one, who can afford multiple expensive whips including this Hot Wheels Lambo.

Hot Wheels Lamborghini

With a net worth of over 20 million from rapping since he was 14, he has collected some unusual rides in addition to the Hot Wheels big boy sports car, including a custom painted Jet Fighter inspired Lambo, a classy black Range Rover, an uber expensive Red Bugatti Veyron (same color and model that record mogul Birdman owns), a black Porsche Turbo coupe, a blue Porsche Panamera, a Red Lamborghini Aventador and a classic Chevy Impala. New money is always showy. And new money rappers want to show off their wealth. For Chris Brown, his car collection shows off his wealth on on wheels.

photo credit of Hot Wheels Lambo – X17Online.com

Red Car Porn

The first Cadillac ATS commercial I viewed on Youtube was filmed in a unique locale in China with select footage aerially shot by a red helicopter {gratuitous wink}. The series of four commercials which Cadillac produced to promote their trendy new sedan featured two 30-something dudes craving a red car porn rush. I could only think of three words: small penis humiliation. After viewing the Youtube clip, I wondered if these guys really thought it was that impressive to drive the red Cadillac ATS sports sedan through such a “tight” tunnel. Oh, the subliminal metaphor…

Cadillac spent a lot of money on these commercials to showcase their optional “magnetic ride control suspension”. Cadillac even goes so far as to tout the Cadillac ATS as “the world’s finest luxury compact sport sedan”. However, many aficionados of European luxury sport sedans such as BMWs and Mercedes would definitely disagree. Nevertheless, Cadillac engineers deserve some props for their magnetic ride control development as this adaptive suspension was later integrated by Ferrari and Lamborghini. Typically, American car engineers are behind the curve, not ahead of it. However, the casting of the 30-something adrenaline junkie douches in a series of racy commercials, most likely a marketing ploy to reach that particular male buyer demographic, seems a little desperate, even though the locales of the commercials are beautifully breathtaking. And to be honest, if any guys go out and buy a red Cadillac sedan after watching any of these car porn commercials and attempt to drive their red Caddies like sporty BMWs to impress chicks, well, that will only be met with small penis humiliation.

Rich Kids Red Cars

Car Collection

Red Porsche

Ferrari RKOI

Red Ferrari Enzo

Rich Kids of Instagram Blog

The Tumblr blog Rich Kids of Instagram highlights the debauchery and excess of the spawn of the uber wealthy 1% `ers, featuring hashtags including Arm Candy (in this case, expensive designer bracelets and spendy watches) to Bottles and Models (extreme partying with ultra luxe bottles of champagne while accompanied by hot models) and of course, Toys… helicopters, private jets, yachts and sports cars. The most featured sports car color is Red, with Ferraris and Lamborghinis being the most popular makes, followed by Porsches, Bentleys and Aston Martins.

Status Symbol Cars

Since these cars are status symbol toys, the Red sports car color is all about flash and standing out, not about psychological Red Car Small Penis compensation. These pricey toys are often purchased by Dads as gifts to their Rich Kids or paid for by the rich progeny themselves from trust fund proceeds. The rich Dads of the RKOI will often boast flashy sports cars or collector cars in a showroom garage as revealed in Rich Kids of Instagram pics. And yes, within the collection is stereotypically a Red sports car or two. Even the Rich Girls have Red cars or pink(!) cars, a pepto bismol pink Bentley, a custom pink Dune Buggy… Perhaps RKOI will spin off new blogs titled: Rich Kids Red Cars or Rich Girls Pink Cars.

photos c/o RKOI

Red Car Small Penis Humiliation – Vegas Style

this small penis humiliation blog post submitted by a frequent visitor to Vegas…

The phrase “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” suggests people come to America’s adult playground for wild decadent times of gambling and partying with a general anything goes attitude. Many guys come hoping to experience the high-roller lifestyle of comped rooms, great food and winning streaks making them feel like big spenders.

One industry that seems to be taking advantage of the situation (but not as much as the casinos) is the exotic car rental business. Customers can pony up a couple hundred to a thousand dollars to ride around in Ferraris, Lamborghinis, Porsches and other extravagant sports cars for a few hours. These exotic rental car companies cater to guys who want to get a thrill of driving these sports cars that retail upwards of $400K. The amusing thing is that almost every car on these lots is small penis humiliation Red (or some variation of the small penis humiliation color scheme such as yellow or orange).

The guys renting these autos are essentially signaling to the world that they are cursed with the small penis affliction. Although it’s probably not intentional, they are telling all the girls on the strip that they are small where it matters… in their pants! And not only that, since they’re merely renting and not buying these small penis humiliation vehicles, they’re most likely small in another area that matters to most women… their wallets!

It’s not an infrequent occurrence for a group of guys to rent out one of these sports cars in small penis humiliation Red and cruise up and down the Las Vegas strip looking to attract all the pretty girls bouncing between the casinos and clubs. Little do these guys know, but they’re signaling their lack of penis size to the hot chicks. Women are totally aware of the trend that a guy driving a Red car most likely has a small penis. On more than one occasion in Vegas, I’ve seen a pretty girl on the strip flash the universal small penis humiliation sign with their thumb and forefinger while laughing with their friends as these guys pathetically attempt to impress them with their rented high-end exotic red cars.

I guess as long as these guys’ memories are as short as what’s in their pants, then the saying “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” may still ring true. Otherwise, the feelings of small penis humiliation that they suffered from the girls pointing and laughing at them will remain long after their vacation to Sin City is over. Renting these exotic Red cars in the desert of Nevada is just one more way for these men to experience small penis humiliation – Vegas style!!!

Small Penis Humiliation Video

In this hilarious Youtube short video, a Red Smart Car driven by a small person is dissed by an orange Lamborghini Diablo driven by a dickless dickhead. The Lambo driver features an actor who couldn’t have more well chosen to play the part of a macho asshole. The Lambo driver is obviously thinking Red Car Small Penis when he pulls up next to the Red Smart Car, let alone that the driver is a small person. Watch the Red Smart Car vs. Orange Lamborghini Diablo video for the sexy and ironic pay-off!

There is no amount of money (well maybe billions) that can compensate for having a small penis, so perhaps men with small penises buy expensive sports cars as consolation prizes. Then they console themselves by driving around, dissing drivers of less expensive smaller cars to make themselves feel more manly and making lame attempts to impress women. But women are only thinking “small penis”, if not also delivering small penis humiliation gestures or giggles when they see these small penis losers driving their expensive penis extensions on wheels.

While small penis losers can’t impress women due to their physical shortcomings (pun intended), they think they can impress them with their money and sports cars of choice, usually a Ferrari, Lamborghini, Porsche, Corvette or Maserati, to name the top small penis choices. And the most popular car colors for small penis losers, of course, are small penis humiliation Red, tiny cock humiliation orange and little dick humiliation yellow. Enjoy the video!

Red Lamborghini : Small Penis Humiliation –> Large Tax Write-off

This Red Lamborghini is “pimping the mix” as trendy club deejays say, but a different kind of mix, Readymix, as in concrete. Since the Miami, Florida building bust, I’m sure Readymix Concrete isn’t busy pouring their mix, but obviously the CEO is out pimping the mix and his small penis humiliation ride, a Red Lamborghini.

Red Lamborghini Small Penis Humiliation

It’s not unusual for a wealthy CEO to be driving around Miami Beach, showing off his Red Car Small Penis, except in this case, he’s emblazoned his small penis humiliation Italian sports car with a bumper sticker that advertises his company.

Question: Why ruin an expensive Red Lamborghini with a cheesy yellow and green bumper sticker on the side door?

Answer: Small Penis, Large Tax Write-off!

In this case, I suspect pimping the Readymix means the Red Lamborghini is considered a company car tax write-off. Not only small penis humiliation, but also public humiliation to have the pricey Red Lamborghini defaced by a tacky bumper sticker, even if it means saving tax bucks. I bet Mr. Readymix’s accountant told him to slap on a bumper sticker with the company name as proof in case the tax man were to unexpectedly show up, suspicious that Mr. Readymix is trying to get something past Uncle Sam. So the tacky bumper sticker beats a tax audit, but driving a Red Lamborghini does not trump small penis humiliation!

Orange is the New Red Small Penis Car!

I saw the flash of orange on Biscayne. Only caught a millisecond of a glance at the driver, but in that millisecond I vouched: small penis! Since Red and Yellow combine to make Orange, it makes complete sense that Orange is in the small penis humiliation car color range. As for the car, it was a Lambo. Specifically a Lamborghini Murcielago.  And a large price tag to pay for a small penis — @$290K!

Orange Small Penis Car

So, is Orange the new Red when it comes to flashy small penis humiliation wheels? Is Orange less common than Red and therefore even flashier and more of a statement to the effect: I May Have a Small Dick, but I Have a Lot of Cash?

But I nearly forgot, there are rental car companies that feature only exotic sportscars around Miami. If you’ve got the cash or credit limit on your credit card, why rent trash? Dream Cars of Miami will rent this Orange Lambo for $1,750 per day. So it may have been rental Viagra on wheels for a small penis dickster driver and definite small penis pinkie wave humiliation to drive around for the day.

Now on the West Coast, on an equally famous drive, PCH a/k/a Pacific Coast Highway, we have an Orange Maserati (photo submitted by a Red Car? Small Penis! blog reader). I don’t know my Maserati models, so perhaps a reader can I.D. this small penis humiliation model. But here is an Orange Maserati revving it up at a Red light for all girls to see and sneer: Small Penis! Or give the small penis sign to the driver! While the driver may have millions, driving this flashy Orange Maserati means only one more thing: Orange is the New Red!

New Orange Small Penis Humiliation Car

Lambo photo c/o gothamdreamcars.com/miami
Maserati photo c/o private collection


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