The first Cadillac ATS commercial I viewed on Youtube was filmed in a unique locale in China with select footage aerially shot by a red helicopter {gratuitous wink}. The series of four commercials which Cadillac produced to promote their trendy new sedan featured two 30-something dudes craving a red car porn rush. I could only think of three words: small penis humiliation. After viewing the Youtube clip, I wondered if these guys really thought it was that impressive to drive the red Cadillac ATS sports sedan through such a “tight” tunnel. Oh, the subliminal metaphor…

Cadillac spent a lot of money on these commercials to showcase their optional “magnetic ride control suspension”. Cadillac even goes so far as to tout the Cadillac ATS as “the world’s finest luxury compact sport sedan”. However, many aficionados of European luxury sport sedans such as BMWs and Mercedes would definitely disagree. Nevertheless, Cadillac engineers deserve some props for their magnetic ride control development as this adaptive suspension was later integrated by Ferrari and Lamborghini. Typically, American car engineers are behind the curve, not ahead of it. However, the casting of the 30-something adrenaline junkie douches in a series of racy commercials, most likely a marketing ploy to reach that particular male buyer demographic, seems a little desperate, even though the locales of the commercials are beautifully breathtaking. And to be honest, if any guys go out and buy a red Cadillac sedan after watching any of these car porn commercials and attempt to drive their red Caddies like sporty BMWs to impress chicks, well, that will only be met with small penis humiliation.